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Posted
50 minutes ago, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

BOARD QUESTION: Can I Say That I Was a Stand-Up Comedian?

 

About ten years ago, I decided to do an open mic at a comedy club in Myrtle Beach. I had about 20 minutes of “A” material and wanted to see how an audience of humans responded to it. Turns out, I was more nervous about this than at any time I spent arguing in court. I drank a couple of beers and had a Dad-at-your-kid’s-birthday-party-at-your-ex-wife’s-house buzz going.

When it was my turn, I went with my duck call joke, and the crowd roared. I did bits about GPS, zombies, the Golden Age of Hollywood monsters, why my doctor pissed me off and some other things. I made fun of North Carolina. I was killing it.

After ten minutes, though, I drew a blank.

Instead of signing off with something like, “I hate you all” or “I have an urgent desire to be alone,” I told a joke about ****jobs on porn sites. Well, the manager had told all of us beforehand that we couldn’t go blue. From the stage, I noticed that same guy running up at me like Peter Griffin at a concert. I hurried up with the punchline before he snatched the microphone away.

 

 

 

So, my first question is this: Can I say that I was a stand-up comedian without further explanation? My second question is whether I can put the following on a resume:

 

JOB: Stand-up Comedian

DATES:  January 17, 2013 at 9:43 pm (Eastern) to January 17, 2013 at 9:53 pm (Eastern)

EMPLOYER:  The Comedy Cabana, 9588 N Kings Hwy, Myrtle Beach, SC

PERSON TO CONTACT:  I would rather that you not contact them.

REASON FOR LEAVING:  I told a dirty joke.

We will need soooo much more than your word on this. Video or it didn't happen.

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Posted
53 minutes ago, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

I swear on my kid's birthday cake at my ex-wife's house. 

Wait ... what?!   Word around Illinois you are celibate.  😉

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Posted
39 minutes ago, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

As a stand-up comedian, my rule for impressions is this: They have to be spot on. Unmistakable. The one exception to that rule is if you are simultaneously telling a killer joke. Then, you can get by with just a good impression.

IWB, ex-wife & kid

artworks-vsH0Z88HIupUB0Io-WpSO2A-t500x50

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

You get on screen in a movie or tv show for 10 minutes, and you're an actor. Moreover, you will always be an actor, as your name is put in the IMDB. Did you know that Kim Basinger won an Oscar for her 15 minutes of screen time in L.A. Confidential?

It's true

In 1991, Anthony Hopkins spent a total of 16 minutes on screen in his role as Hannibal Lecter in the movie Silence of the Lambs. He didn't tell a single joke. Yet, he came away with a Best Actor Academy Award. So, you know. 

Posted
Nash looked like he was gaining some confidence in the Purdue dual. Taking some shots. Hopefully he'll be up to par come ncass

He’s gotta win the spot first, then navigate through the conference to hit a qualifying spot.

Beating the Purdue heavy, who is 3-15 this year, isn’t exactly a litmus test for the NCAA tournament.

Insert catchy tagline here. 

Posted
1 minute ago, Jason Bryant said:


He’s gotta win the spot first, then navigate through the conference to hit a qualifying spot.

Beating the Purdue heavy, who is 3-15 this year, isn’t exactly a litmus test for the NCAA tournament.

Agreed

Posted
33 minutes ago, jajensen09 said:

Agreed

Gee maybe there’s a reason why he’s not doing so good.  It’s almost Like dropping 45 pounds has an impact. 

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Posted
45 minutes ago, Jason Bryant said:


He’s gotta win the spot first, then navigate through the conference to hit a qualifying spot.

Beating the Purdue heavy, who is 3-15 this year, isn’t exactly a litmus test for the NCAA tournament.

The Purdue backup at that

i am an idiot on the internet

Posted
8 hours ago, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

You get on screen in a movie or tv show for 10 minutes, and you're an actor. Moreover, you will always be an actor, as your name is put in the IMDB. Did you know that Kim Basinger won an Oscar for her 15 minutes of screen time in L.A. Confidential?

It's true

In 1991, Anthony Hopkins spent a total of 16 minutes on screen in his role as Hannibal Lecter in the movie Silence of the Lambs. He didn't tell a single joke. Yet, he came away with a Best Actor Academy Award. So, you know. 

Are you having a stroke?  What does this have to do with this thread?

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Posted
2 minutes ago, bnwtwg said:

Copass can't beat him?

I checked on Copass and couldn't find him on the roster per wrestlestat. Not sure if he is injured or what, but Ruhlman has wrestled all the duals this season.

Drowning in data, but thirsting for knowledge

Posted
14 minutes ago, Wrestleknownothing said:

I checked on Copass and couldn't find him on the roster per wrestlestat. Not sure if he is injured or what, but Ruhlman has wrestled all the duals this season.

I just assumed redshirt given his high school pedigree and being an NQ last year. Makes sense though 

i am an idiot on the internet

Posted
1 hour ago, Wrestleknownothing said:

Yeah, he redshirted in 22, went 8-11 in 23, and is listed at 0-0 this year.

@FanOfPurdueWrestling any insight on the Copass situation?

I don't know his wrestling status but a quick creep on his instagram confirms he is the first Purdue undergrad in at least two decades to make contact with a girl

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i am an idiot on the internet

Posted
2 minutes ago, bnwtwg said:

I don't know his wrestling status but a quick creep on his instagram confirms he is the first Purdue undergrad in at least two decades to make contact with a girl

Game Show Wow GIF by ABC Network

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