Things my father said

[jross]

What humorous or insightful quotes and phrases have you heard from your father? 

[ionel]

Never back up when you can go forward.

[WrestlingRasta]

Why waste a couple minutes of my life because of some stupid sign. 

[mspart]

I've heard those!!

mspart

[jross]

In the land before mobile phones, my father and I found ourselves waiting for a family friend. We arrived ten minutes early in our trusty blue Nissan pickup, the vehicle that had carried us across the Midwest for countless wrestling tournaments. However, the friend had yet to appear five minutes past the agreed meeting time. At that moment, my father's frustration surfaced as he grumbled about punctuality and shared that if you're not 10 minutes early, you're 20 minutes late. 

Edited October 17, 2023 by jross

[PortaJohn]

"You know son, the more people use you the more you are going to smell"

[Offthemat]

He told me I was built backwards.  My nose ran and my feet smelled. 

[Wrestleknownothing]

13 minutes ago, jross said:

In the land before mobile phones, my father and I found ourselves waiting for a family friend. We arrived ten minutes early in our trusty blue Nissan pickup, the vehicle that had carried us across the Midwest for countless wrestling tournaments. However, the friend had yet to appear five minutes past the agreed meeting time. At that moment, my father's frustration surfaced as he grumbled about punctuality and shared that if you're not 10 minutes early, you're 20 minutes late. 

So you are supposed to be there 29 minutes early? Sounds like a waste of time.

[Ban Basketball]

My Dad could have been a comic,  but the only thing he taught me,  and I've said it before: never make a bet that you won't win. 

Provides MORE evidence that I was trying to hook him into a sucker bet.

[Ban Basketball]

A second one.  He was born in 1928, a farm kid and farmer,  so far from a hard left libberol, but staunch Democrat.

If homosexuality was the biggest problem that we had in this country it'd be a damned nice place to live. 

[mspart]

My grandfather, who I never knew because he died 20 years before I was born, said once, my father reported, that "One boy is about as much use as 1/2 a man.   Two boys are as much use as zero men."   My dad grew up on a farm. 

mspart

[mspart]

My dad would say, "it ain't worth doing if you don't do it right."  Boy is that true.

mspart

[Bigbrog]

My dad to me on not having a long-term girlfriend..."Son, at some point you are going to have to settle."  I won't mention how many times he has been married.

[jross]

"You know your sister gives 110% behind the dish (baseball catcher). Why don't you try as hard as she does?"

WHAT!?!?
 

[Lipdrag]

Upon holding his infant grandson for the first time my father looked up at me and stated,  "What a miracle . . .  that someone as flawed as you can produce someone as perfect as this."

I used that same line on that same kid 24 years later.