Headline predictions for post-NCAA

[Ragu]

"Penn State becomes just the second team to ever AA all 10 weights"

"Little Rock walks away from KC with 2 AAs"

"Vito runs the gauntlet...again"

"Aaron Brooks and Carter Starocci make it 4"

"Michigan wins the race for second"

[PortaJohn]

AJ Ferrari......??????

[The_KC_Godfather]

"AJ Ferrari named as prime suspect in Kansas City shooting"

"Brands brothers will make a full recovery after sustaining gunshot wounds in Kansas City parking garage shooting"

"Missouri does the unthinkable; knocks off defending champion Penn State"

"Oklahoma State head coach John Smith fires assistant Coleman Scott matside for throwing challenge brick"

"Dayton Fix celebrates 40th birthday with first NCAA title"

[jackwebster]

[NM1965]

"Will Lewan awarded Outstanding Wrestler and Gorriaran Award after pinning all his opponents at the NCAA wrestling  championship. "

[Southend]

This thread could get interesting real fast. Might be elevated top top thread of the year. 

[BarSeries]

"Fourteen Year Old Academic Prodigy Wins NCAA Title for Penn State"

[PortaJohn]

NCAA Wrestling Fans Confirm Kansas City Worst BBQ in the Country

[Hammerlock3]

"Nick Suriano learns to play setters of catan!" -Flo

[11986]

Casey Cunningham headed home to Central Michigan after helping Penn State to another title; every PSU wrestler with Michigan roots to follow him to wrestle for the Chippewas

Edited March 18 by 11986

[PortaJohn]

Donald Trump claims he won another NCAA Wrestling championship: 'For some reason, I am just a good wrestler/athlete'

 

Donald Trump has made another claim and this time he didn’t have to beg for his total to be changed.

The former president posted on Truth Social that he won the NCAA Wrestling Championship at his club in Bedminster, N.J. Trump, who apparently was able to dig out his singlet that were mixed among the classified documents stored at Mar-a-Lago, claims he scored 185 points.

“I am pleased to report, for those that care, that I just won the NCAA Wrestling Championship (must be over 50 years old!) at Bedminster (Trump National Wrestling Club), scoring a total of 185,” the 77-year-old Palm Beach resident posted. “Now, some people will think that sounds low, but there is no hanky/lanky. Many people watch, plus I am surrounded by Secret Service Agents. Not much you can do even if you wanted to, and I don’t.”

Trump concluded his post: “For some reason, I am just a good wrestler/athlete – I have won many Wrestling Championships, and it is always a great honor!”

In January, Trump announced he won the Men’s Senior Freestyle Worlds Championship at Trump International Wrestling Club in West Palm Beach, despite the tournament being held September 16-24 2023 in Belgrade Serbia.

“I shoot straight, I hit good tilts, I hit good cradles,” he said.

Edited March 19 by PortaJohn

[PortaJohn]

ROFKIN Won't Charge Biden in classified Wrestling Probe

Kansas City, MO _ President Joe Biden claimed Sunday that last night he finished on top of the podium at the  2024 NCAA Division 1 Wrestling Tournament, although records indicate he was not there.

In a videotape aired by Rofkin Sunday, the Delaware Democrat was asked  about what wrestling tournament he competed in and how well he did.

On the videotape, a clearly angered Biden told the questioner: ''I think I probably have a much higher placement than you do.

''The first year in college I decided I didn’t want to wrestle and ended up in the bottom two-thirds of my weight class and then decided I wanted to stay and went back to practice and in fact ended up on the top of my weight class,’' he went on.

Biden has been deviled about questions in the last 10 hours about his wrestling career.

In the videotape, Biden went on to say, ''I went to (Syracuse) on a full wrestling scholarship.’'

''I won the international NCAA competition. ... I was the outstanding wrestler ... I graduated as a three time All American... And I’d be delighted to sit back and compare my placements to yours if you’d like, Willie,’' Biden told the questioner.

Biden told Flowrestling he was ''frustrated’’ and ''angry as hell’’ about the Rofkin report.

''It’s so easy to make things look like there’s something sinister about them,’' he said. ''I guess every single word I’ve said is going to be dissected now.’'

Of his NCAA finish at the National Tournament, he said, ''I exaggerate when I’m angry, but I’ve never gone around telling people things that aren’t true about me.’'

[BFosr1]

Did you really just use AI to write those two stories!??

[SocraTease]

"Penn State wrestling board returns to its obsession with Ferrari and Iowa"

After three days of NCAA action with few posts about A.J. Ferrari, the Penn State wrestling board has returned to add to its 47 pages (yes, that is correct) of comments about Mr. Fast Twitch and its obsession with all things Iowa.   

Said one poster (who asked that his name be withheld) on Sunday morning:

"Yea, we just won our 11th title in 13 years, but I'm really looking forward to getting back to Ferrari's life, including how much he can lift, and to other serious issues at Iowa about gambling, transfers, and Spencer Lee's mother.  Even though Iowa finished 4th this year, I don't think the Brands know how to coach and the whole state is jealous of all our success.  Gabe Arnold will never win a title next year unless he transfers to Penn State in which case I probably won't root for him to beat out Facundo, unless he is in the lineup the second semester and he takes back what he said about Starocci.  We have 362 days now to get on this before NCAAs in 2025. Hey, did you hear that Sadulaev might be Iowa's starter at 197 in the Fall? Iowa big donor scandal for sure with the Russians"

[PortaJohn]

11 hours ago, BFosr1 said:

Did you really just use AI to write those two stories!??

Did not! Reconstructed articles on Trump's golf claims and Biden's law school ranking claims 

[NM1965]

Trent Hidlay is the first athlete to openly thank Satan following his victory over Aaron Brooks. "Hail Satan", said Hidlay as he held his hands up in devil horn fashion before downing a fifth of fermented mare's milk and pig's blood as a pair of large crows flew down and landed on his shoulders. Hidlay then announced he'd see the interviewer again at Sr Nationals before a gaping, flaming pit opened at his feet and he slowly descended into the bowels of Hell, with a satanic choir loudly singing "Afternoon Delight" in the background. Don't blame Hidlay, "Afternoon Delight" is the only song allowed in Hell. 

 

Edited March 19 by NM1965

[killdozer]

5 hours ago, NM1965 said:

Trent Hidlay is the first athlete to openly thank Satan following his victory over Aaron Brooks. "Hail Satan", said Hidlay as he held his hands up in devil horn fashion before downing a fifth of fermented mare's milk and pig's blood as a pair of large crows flew down and landed on his shoulders. Hidlay then announced he'd see the interviewer again at Sr Nationals before a gaping, flaming pit opened at his feet and he slowly descended into the bowels of Hell, with a satanic choir loudly singing "Afternoon Delight" in the background. Don't blame Hidlay, "Afternoon Delight" is the only song allowed in Hell. 

 

That and Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"

He also thanks the teachings of Anton Levey and quotes "The Satanic Bible"

I was hoping he would praise Cthulhu

Edited March 19 by killdozer
addition

[steamboat_charlie]

"Legendary Coach Cael Sanderson Announces Retirement Following Historic Victory in KC.  'That was fun,' Sanderson quipped, when asked for comment."

 

One can dream. 

[bnwtwg]

"I really enjoyed the Carter Starocci will be a 4 timer era"

[lisa morales]

Flo develops another Spencer Lee & Austin DeSanto video detailing their amazing friendship after college.

[timmcnaughton3294]

The fourteen year old from PSU bumps up to 133 to take on his thirty five year old stepdad from OSU.

Sent from my SM-A516V using Tapatalk

[Friendlycamper]

Austin Gomez transfers to Tarleton State to pursue NCWA national championship

[SocraTease]

1 hour ago, lisa morales said:

Flo develops another Spencer Lee & Austin DeSanto video detailing their amazing friendship after college.

Best Enemies Part 2 (after the Taylor-Dake"Frien-emies"  Part 1)

[SocraTease]

NCAA announces they will  consider shortening the time between conference tournaments and NCAA championships to 10 minutes (instead of 10 days) because the wrestling community (as revealed by activity on their forums) has debilitating forms of impatience waiting for action to matches to begin again.   Studies show drinking has risen in this interim period.   So has cursing against spouses, relatives, strangers, and fellow fans. 

"This ain't the Super Bowl or March Basketweaving Madness," said one super fan.  "It's better than that and we don't want commercials between matches either.  Let the Dance begin."

[Truzzcat]

Trent Hidlay becomes first NCAA athlete to be sponsored by Jersey Mikes after defeating Aaron brooks in the NCAA finals. Hidlay punched himself in the head 13 times and then caught a sub that was thrown from the rafters. In his post match interview the only thing Hidlay did was thank his brother and the NC State program, as well as his parting words "get it mikes way".