Common Ground

[jross]

2024 will not have common ground.  This video is 100% what to expect...

 

[WrestlingRasta]

6 minutes ago, Paul158 said:

I never watched Tucker . I believe he is no longer on TV. So, would you happen to have any names and phone numbers of Russian  citizens I can call? The only thing the American press talk about is Russia's invasion of Ukraine and the death and destruction that is happening.

Yes, because picking up a phone and calling is the only way a person can interact with people on the other side of the world these days. And listening to the American “press” is the only way to learn what’s going on in the world. 

[Offthemat]

At least in Russia, if you’re ranked high enough, and you have a publicly reported disagreement with Putin, he’ll make an equally noteworthy story about your airplane, and everyone on board, being shot out of the sky.  

[Offthemat]

In the U.S., if you’re the mayor of a large city and have a disagreement with Biden about illegal immigration, you get investigated by the FBI, the IRS, the FEC, and get charged with rape. 

[Paul158]

2 hours ago, Offthemat said:

At least in Russia, if you’re ranked high enough, and you have a publicly reported disagreement with Putin, he’ll make an equally noteworthy story about your airplane, and everyone on board, being shot out of the sky.  

I  think it will be a sudden unexplained explosion on the plane. But pretty much the same thing. 

[mspart]

Russia is a lovely place this time of year.   Everyone there is so happy and helpful, it's hard to imagine a more paradisaical place. 

mspart

[jross]

Yesterday at a wrestling dual, a spectator loudly stated, "Stop playing with her!"   

I silenced the spectator with words I rarely use:  "Shut up!"  I thought the spectator, my wife, was accidentally demeaning a wrestler publicly in front of other parents/students.  Some high school kid said it first.  This spectator parrots and unconsciously amplifies anything anyone says when her wrestler is battling.

This has me thinking about freedom of speech and how it plays out in public spaces (in-person vs X).  Did my action align with freedom of speech, but not reach?  

[jross]

^^^
I did not report this incident and push for consequences from the demeaned wrestler's parent, coach, school leadership, and the spectator's employer. 

I did inform the spectator about conscious civil discourse. 

I might refuse to sit with this spectator if the behavior is repeated or gets out of hand(cancel my time). 

I would not try to prevent others from sitting with this spectator at a wrestling event. 

If the behavior was grossly out of hand, I might advocate a temporary restriction on attending wrestling events. 

What behaviors have we seen on X? 

Can you spot the nuance between Freedom of Choice and Cancel Culture?

[Plasmodium]

Two years ago, I was watching a wrestling dual @CHA.  This Wisconsin kid - no way in hell he’s from Wisconsin, if you know what I mean and you do know what I mean- was wrestling.   Anyway, he was getting lucky and beating a Hawkeye.  One of the guys a section over was telling him the honest truth loud enough to get his attention.   Ain’t nobody said anything because they all knew it was true!

[WrestlingRasta]

On 11/30/2023 at 7:08 PM, jross said:

Yesterday at a wrestling dual, a spectator loudly stated, "Stop playing with her!"   

I silenced the spectator with words I rarely use:  "Shut up!"  I thought the spectator, my wife, was accidentally demeaning a wrestler publicly in front of other parents/students.  Some high school kid said it first.  This spectator parrots and unconsciously amplifies anything anyone says when her wrestler is battling.

This has me thinking about freedom of speech and how it plays out in public spaces (in-person vs X).  Did my action align with freedom of speech, but not reach?  

Here’s a good one. 
 

My youngest son, I/we are forcing to wrestle this year. He needs it, and at the same time, mom needs to finally cut the chord. There is a connection between the two, I’m sure everyone here understands, hence, he is wrestling this year to develop some specific life skills. It goes without saying, he has no business in a varsity wrestling match after just two weeks of practice, but there’s a hole at his weight this weekend. 
(side note, I’m the coach for the rival of the school he goes to, I started both programs, so it’s an interesting dynamic) 

 

Anyway, yesterday for the first time in my life I’m just a wrestling dad in the bleachers. Duals pool competition. I’m looking at the pool and we draw the toughest teams at the tournament. Two historically state championship teams. Needless to say it was a very rough day for him. 
 

But to the point. One match in particular, my son’s opponent is a returning state placer, senior, full developed at 150lbs, and my son barely has peach fuzz under his arms. As they walked out on the mat, the other coaches were laughing. And I’m ‘friends’ with them from coaching in the area. But they don’t know who he is. Match last about 15 seconds and coming off they’re laughing and the comment was, “what a waste of time”. 

Do I say something? 

[jross]

3 hours ago, WrestlingRasta said:

Here’s a good one.  <story>
Do I say something? 

I'm sorry Rasta.  There are many different ways to handle this, and I'm scratching the surface with commentary below.

Actions of cancel culture

• Spread the word about the coaches on wrestling forums, school groups, and more. Get people to complain, write letters, and call the school. Threaten a lawsuit if the school doesn't do something, and involve the media if needed.  Important!-> Do anything to ensure consequences without first talking to your son, his coach, and the opposing coach.

Actions of Freedom of Choice 

• Think about your role as a parent (protect but don't baby) and a coach (see something, say something).
• Talk to your son and then decide if further action is needed.
  • "How was the match?  How did it feel?  What do you think about how your teammates, coaches, competitors, and fans communicate during matches?"
  • If he doesn't call it out on his own, maybe he isn't aware... perhaps you can prevent creating an issue that he wasn't aware of.
• If your son is upset, discuss this as a growth opportunity. 
  • He can't control others from choosing to be a jerk, but he has control over his attitude and response.
  • Frame it as an opportunity to toughen up.
  • Ask him how he will respond: Will he let it slide, quit, or use it as motivation?
  • Talk to him about his responsibility to stick up for himself.
  • Suggest he inform and request his coach to share feedback with the opposing coach.

If you decide to step in, then consider

• Leverage your relationship with the opposing head coach, talk privately to gather intent, and provide feedback sooner than later. 
  • "In that situation where you felt the 150lb match was a waste of time, you said something demeaning out loud, and it had <this> impact.  What was your intention?"  
• Communicate concerns with your son's coach to collaborate on actions or inform him about your previous actions.
• Some people will try to address concerns broadly at a coaches meeting or in an email, keeping it anonymous, and nothing could be a bigger waste of time!   Crucial conversations are necessary to provide direct feedback and maintain the relationships.
• If the opposing behavior repeats after being directly addressed, consider additional rational action... without being a jerk. 

[Lipdrag]

8 hours ago, WrestlingRasta said:

and the comment was, “what a waste of time”. 

Do I say something? 

Only to your own kid.  What did he learn and how does that match go 45 seconds or the whole first period next time?  Any other discussion by a parent with an opposing coach is absolutely out of bounds.  IMHO

[WrestlingRasta]

Nice responses, thanks. I did not say anything yesterday, and my son didn’t say anything about it so I am going to see assume he didn’t notice. He came up and asked me “can you show me how to defend that cradle, I don’t know what I’m doing down there”

Have thought about it a lot since the time occurred, and knew what my plan was before posting above, but was just curious to see others thoughts, how they may handle it. My plan is this….I’ll see him Tuesday night, and at some point I’ll ask if he’s got a minute. And I’m not going to talk to him not as a pissed off dad, but rather, give him a short back ground, ask him if he agrees with me that we could use a whole lot more kids going through wrestling these days, and explain to him that a kid walked out there not wanting to be there, but threw his feet to the fire knowing he was going to get the shit kicked out of him but because he’s been lead to believe it will do him a lot of good…and you laughed at him. As one wrestling coach to another I’d just ask you to think about that. 

[jross]

51 minutes ago, Lipdrag said:

Only to your own kid.  What did he learn and how does that match go 45 seconds or the whole first period next time?  Any other discussion by a parent with an opposing coach is absolutely out of bounds.  IMHO

Does the parent angle nix that OP is also a coach that coaches against the opposing coaches?

[Lipdrag]

2 hours ago, jross said:

Does the parent angle nix that OP is also a coach that coaches against the opposing coaches?

Yes.

[WrestlingRasta]

As a coach (not a head coach anymore). I always had a 24 hour rule. I don’t want parents talking to me about anything with the prior competition until 24 hours after. 
 

I have, somewhat, of relationship with this guy. We’re friendly. I’m an older guy who’s been around a minute, he’s a younger buck in his first few years coaching. He knows me as someone who has been around, built a few programs, state leader for Fargo, etc. It’s not exactly a typical parent/other coach type scenario. That doesn’t really factor in I don’t think.