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Posted

Change the sport to soccer, running, or wrestling.  These are more common than water in some places.  It is not the umpires fault you lose.

Posted

Red is my response. No other edits were made.

First off...I never took anything personal(where could I have gotten that idea?)...not sure why you always feel like that is what is happening??  I was using myself(there it is) as an example to make the point, which many others have continually tried to make and you just brush over(speaking of brushing over), and that is, people who don't have the resources can get the resources by doing things for themself in order to achieve them. I don’t disagree. But here’s a scenario: you’re a poor child, parents can’t provide you with proper nutrition, what is a higher priority school or food? Another: if you have no models of best practices(and lets just define that as ANYTHING YOU THINK WILL HELP IMPROVE THEIR LIVES IN A MEANINGFUL WAY) in their family/neighborhood, where and how should they look for better influences? Where to get the resources to take advantage of those resources?

Point is, there are people in situations that cannot possibly concentrate on the things you feel(privilege) are the right or best things to help them out of their situation. Your situations are different. You see it as me making an excuse. Your situation sucked and not answering the question of wanting others to have to go through what you did, I’ll answer it for you… no you wouldn’t. Because you know how hard it was and don’t want anyone let alone a child to have to go through that if at all possible.

Funny part is I KNEW you were going to throw out the word "privilege" eventually.  I actually started to address that proactively in my previous post, but decided to let you bring it up...so predictable.  I wonder when people like you who find the boogey man in everything, think everyone is a victim (except white heterosexual men), think people don't and shouldn't have or take responsibility to their situation(again, I was talking about children, they should take responsibility for their situation? If you really believe that you are sadder and more angry than I realized)  and to do something about it.  There is always something or someone to blame for it(describe in detail who I am blaming and for what?).  Claiming privilege is a copout in my opinion(again, you lost the thread and the point, privilege can be a passive thing that you have someone else does not, simply because of their circumstances, if you want to have a convo about it, I’d be up for that, or you could read a book about any opinion opposite of your own. I can see that’s probably a long shot).  Not because I don't understand(you don’t) or have empathy(you don’t), but it does no one any good using terms like that(or have you been conditioned to see them as evil or wrong and so have this quite emotional response. Because a rational person could handle these concepts and understand how they impact everything and everyone in a society. A society that favors certain characteristics of things/people over others) including the people you think you are trying to "fight for"(I think you don’t like the people I fight for and your solution is tant amount to punishing them to do things EXACTLY how you did them, which could charitably be considered abuse or neglect. So again, sorry for your childhood).  Why make excuses(new understanding of group dynamics and psychology might frighten you but these things are real and have tangible effects, again, happy to talk to you about them if you’d like)  for them versus empower them and telling them they can get out of the "cycle"(question, which do you think would’ve worked better, ‘empowering’ slaves to improve their lives or ‘enforce’ equal rights/treatment and change the system that keeps them in the cycle? You probably won’t answer but its ‘enforce’) ??  Or is it easier to bring out how crappy slavery was, oppression was, etc., in the past(we both agree it was bad, right?... Right?)?  I personally think that does nothing for people other than allow them an excuse to not help themselves and to blame someone(does this mean we cannot help anyone, can’t teach anyone to fish, they have to figure it out themselves?).  This isn't the 40's/50's any longer.  We have made GREAT progress in regard to equality(are you sure, poverty rates by demographics are pretty skewed, generational wealth gap W vs B is quite substantial) and access to resources no matter where you happen to be born(HERE IT IS! THIS SENTENCES IS WHERE YOU HAVE IT WRONG, sorry for yelling but wanted to make sure I had your attention, probably not at this point. Access. To. Resources. Is. NOT. EQUAL! That you don’t know that or won’t admit it IS. YOUR. PRIVILEGE. SHOWING. ITS. ASS!).  I have a feeling you are too young to have any sort of perspective other than what you read in liberal literature and what you hear at the whacky liberal education institution you work.  You are probably basing it off of what 25 years on earth?  Maybe start listening to people that have been here 50+ years and have seen how much progress has been made?? I’m sorry your upbringing informed you that your ‘normal’ was ideal or sought after as a useful way to raise a child, children, or how to grow a healthy society. Plain and simple. It isn’t! You shouldn’t have been put in that position and I hope you wouldn’t want anyone else to struggle the way you did if you could help. The way you, I, and most of us was not ideal for healthy people in society. Some of us have figured that out and are working to correct our misapprehensions. So as not to pass them on to the next generation.

By the way I have nothing against education jobs or the people who work in them...(your last comment does not seem to back that up) I think most of them are amazing human beings...as long as they don't bring their political agenda into the classroom and try to brainwash the kids.  Heck, my kid tells me about what some teachers say(and I’m sure you don’t keep other points of view from them or not-so-subtly influence the information they are exposed to, so as to protect them from the evils of having a different opinion as you)...good thing he is a kid that thinks for himself and always looks at all kinds of perspectives before he makes an opinion(based on our conversations and who they are modeling after, I doubt that very much, but fingers crossed)...it is sad when he tells me about some of his peers who just takes what their teacher(makes it seems that you believe you are the soul provider of ‘correct’ information or opininos. That doesn’t scream maniacal overlord at all), MSM, social media, etc. spew word for word without thinking about it themselves.

Good talk.

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, jross said:

Change the sport to soccer, running, or wrestling.  These are more common than water in some places.  It is not the umpires fault you lose.

People exist, in this country, probably not far from wherever you live, that do not have enough food to participate at all, let alone have the ability or will to grow their skills sets in any of these sports. 

If you are just talking about playing in a backyard/sandlot to entertain themselves. Sure this could happen. Kids make up games all the time and they can get pretty good at them. Many if not most do not have professional leagues at all, let alone on tv to provide motivation to help get them out of their situation. 

If you are trying to say that these sports, as organized leagues, can benefit a child with very limited resources to gain skills and motivation to grow and improve their future outcome. Sure its possible. But again, exceptions do no prove the rule. 

It seems as if you are, again, trying to insinuate that if one person among countless amounts can achieve in one particular way. Then all can use that same game plan to achieve similar results. No. That's no how things work. Sorry if it hurts but that is ignorant of you if you actually believe that. 

Edited by ThreePointTakedown
Posted
1 hour ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

Sorry if it hurts but that is ignorant of you if you actually believe that. 

What are you trying to accomplish?

I share an empowering message of personal accountability and resilience that is specific my baseball team.  You distort my message to create a strawman as if it was a one-size fits-all approach in all circumstances.  You try to divert the discussion away from personal accounability and appeal to empathy without addressing accountability merits.  Sharing this story isn't even about me.  Yet you attack my character rather than viewpoints.  You call me ignorant to those in need while completely ignoring that I'm actually volunteering time and resources for those I'm directly helping.

Posted
47 minutes ago, jross said:

@ThreePointTakedown
 

Honest question - what do you like about wrestling?  What type of focused mindset is highly probable for successful wrestlers?

1st. Too much to type out. 

What I don't like: a focus on winning as the goal. So much is lost, sacrificed, or abandoned in the quest to win. You're a bad coach if your athletes' only focus is winning a match. Kids should be kids. Teach them how to enjoy a stressful, yet very temporary situation and to find the benefits of working and executing in the absence of getting a hand raised. Their worth is not tied to how many points they can score for the team. 

2nd. How do you define 'successful' or 'highly probable'(cuz if you can nail down a probability for certain characteristics to be successful in this sport you should either sell it for a boat load or share it)? 

Just getting their hand raised? I do not subscribe to that definition. So I feel we would be talking past each other. 

A successful wrestlers gets out of the sport what they want. That's it. Maintain their fitness and flexibility. Learn some situational awareness. Maybe how to function better/more effectively in a various stressful environments. Use their imagination to see clear and efficient solutions to complex problems before they've even arisen. 

Up and down the spectrum of success. Plenty of people have gotten what they wanted out of very few wins and I'll bet there are plenty that would admit they wish they could go back and take a different path despite quite a bit of 'success'. I'm one of them.

Care to answer those questions yourself?

Hope it helps. 

Posted
1 hour ago, jross said:

What are you trying to accomplish?

I share an empowering message of personal accountability and resilience that is specific my baseball team.  You distort my message to create a strawman as if it was a one-size fits-all approach in all circumstances.  You try to divert the discussion away from personal accounability and appeal to empathy without addressing accountability merits.  Sharing this story isn't even about me.  Yet you attack my character rather than viewpoints.  You call me ignorant to those in need while completely ignoring that I'm actually volunteering time and resources for those I'm directly helping.

Trying to get narrowminded people with, seemingly, little knowledge as to how quite a few people live in this country and the resources available to them.

You prescribe your preferred method of aid and comfort. Method(s) you may have used to get to where you are now. To let you know that, even the very little, that you had to work your way up from wherever you started, is not available to a, not insignificant, number of people in this country and around the world. 

Your blanket solution to a very complicated problem is ignorant. Especially with as easily as information is available these days. I won't call it malicious, yet. But its easy to find studies and statistics to help fix some of the big problems we have and you seem to be against those options for reasons I haven't been able to pin down. 

If you think, just be accountable for yourself first, isn't virtue signaling, let me dissuade you of that notion. Because that's exactly what it is. You are better than others because you were able to do it. Not wanting to admit that you couldn't. You needed help too. And what little help you received is unavailable to members of your community. Every second you can't/won't admit it, people that really need help, are going without it. Because people like you are voting, into office, reps that keep us from being able to help. 

  • Clown 1
Posted
3 hours ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

Red is my response. No other edits were made.

First off...I never took anything personal(where could I have gotten that idea?)...not sure why you always feel like that is what is happening??  I was using myself(there it is) as an example to make the point, which many others have continually tried to make and you just brush over(speaking of brushing over), and that is, people who don't have the resources can get the resources by doing things for themself in order to achieve them. I don’t disagree. But here’s a scenario: you’re a poor child, parents can’t provide you with proper nutrition, what is a higher priority school or food? Another: if you have no models of best practices(and lets just define that as ANYTHING YOU THINK WILL HELP IMPROVE THEIR LIVES IN A MEANINGFUL WAY) in their family/neighborhood, where and how should they look for better influences? Where to get the resources to take advantage of those resources?

Point is, there are people in situations that cannot possibly concentrate on the things you feel(privilege) are the right or best things to help them out of their situation. Your situations are different. You see it as me making an excuse. Your situation sucked and not answering the question of wanting others to have to go through what you did, I’ll answer it for you… no you wouldn’t. Because you know how hard it was and don’t want anyone let alone a child to have to go through that if at all possible.

Funny part is I KNEW you were going to throw out the word "privilege" eventually.  I actually started to address that proactively in my previous post, but decided to let you bring it up...so predictable.  I wonder when people like you who find the boogey man in everything, think everyone is a victim (except white heterosexual men), think people don't and shouldn't have or take responsibility to their situation(again, I was talking about children, they should take responsibility for their situation? If you really believe that you are sadder and more angry than I realized)  and to do something about it.  There is always something or someone to blame for it(describe in detail who I am blaming and for what?).  Claiming privilege is a copout in my opinion(again, you lost the thread and the point, privilege can be a passive thing that you have someone else does not, simply because of their circumstances, if you want to have a convo about it, I’d be up for that, or you could read a book about any opinion opposite of your own. I can see that’s probably a long shot).  Not because I don't understand(you don’t) or have empathy(you don’t), but it does no one any good using terms like that(or have you been conditioned to see them as evil or wrong and so have this quite emotional response. Because a rational person could handle these concepts and understand how they impact everything and everyone in a society. A society that favors certain characteristics of things/people over others) including the people you think you are trying to "fight for"(I think you don’t like the people I fight for and your solution is tant amount to punishing them to do things EXACTLY how you did them, which could charitably be considered abuse or neglect. So again, sorry for your childhood).  Why make excuses(new understanding of group dynamics and psychology might frighten you but these things are real and have tangible effects, again, happy to talk to you about them if you’d like)  for them versus empower them and telling them they can get out of the "cycle"(question, which do you think would’ve worked better, ‘empowering’ slaves to improve their lives or ‘enforce’ equal rights/treatment and change the system that keeps them in the cycle? You probably won’t answer but its ‘enforce’) ??  Or is it easier to bring out how crappy slavery was, oppression was, etc., in the past(we both agree it was bad, right?... Right?)?  I personally think that does nothing for people other than allow them an excuse to not help themselves and to blame someone(does this mean we cannot help anyone, can’t teach anyone to fish, they have to figure it out themselves?).  This isn't the 40's/50's any longer.  We have made GREAT progress in regard to equality(are you sure, poverty rates by demographics are pretty skewed, generational wealth gap W vs B is quite substantial) and access to resources no matter where you happen to be born(HERE IT IS! THIS SENTENCES IS WHERE YOU HAVE IT WRONG, sorry for yelling but wanted to make sure I had your attention, probably not at this point. Access. To. Resources. Is. NOT. EQUAL! That you don’t know that or won’t admit it IS. YOUR. PRIVILEGE. SHOWING. ITS. ASS!).  I have a feeling you are too young to have any sort of perspective other than what you read in liberal literature and what you hear at the whacky liberal education institution you work.  You are probably basing it off of what 25 years on earth?  Maybe start listening to people that have been here 50+ years and have seen how much progress has been made?? I’m sorry your upbringing informed you that your ‘normal’ was ideal or sought after as a useful way to raise a child, children, or how to grow a healthy society. Plain and simple. It isn’t! You shouldn’t have been put in that position and I hope you wouldn’t want anyone else to struggle the way you did if you could help. The way you, I, and most of us was not ideal for healthy people in society. Some of us have figured that out and are working to correct our misapprehensions. So as not to pass them on to the next generation.

By the way I have nothing against education jobs or the people who work in them...(your last comment does not seem to back that up) I think most of them are amazing human beings...as long as they don't bring their political agenda into the classroom and try to brainwash the kids.  Heck, my kid tells me about what some teachers say(and I’m sure you don’t keep other points of view from them or not-so-subtly influence the information they are exposed to, so as to protect them from the evils of having a different opinion as you)...good thing he is a kid that thinks for himself and always looks at all kinds of perspectives before he makes an opinion(based on our conversations and who they are modeling after, I doubt that very much, but fingers crossed)...it is sad when he tells me about some of his peers who just takes what their teacher(makes it seems that you believe you are the soul provider of ‘correct’ information or opininos. That doesn’t scream maniacal overlord at all), MSM, social media, etc. spew word for word without thinking about it themselves.

Good talk.

Wow...you pompous self-righteous child.  This is probably a good place to just end my "conversations" with you as it is almost laughable how you assume, judge, label, and downright have no idea what you are talking about.  You are an immature, young, Mr./Ms. Know-It-All that at the end of the day has yet to grow up and truly experience life and the knowledge that that provides.  You throw around accusations and terms like "privilege" to grown ass men who have lived more life than you probably ever will yet you think you know who they are, what they believe in their heart, and have the audacity to try and lecture them on things they have had to deal with longer than you have been alive.  One day, my hope for you, is that you actually grow up and learn what life is really about, and to do something that takes a lot of maturity and humbleness, and that is do some self-reflection.

I have, as all the people you argue with constantly have said many many times, I am ALL about helping those less fortunate.  I am ALL about equality for every demographic in our society.  I am ALL for trying to actually make a difference by volunteering, working at food banks, donating to food banks, coaching for free, buying the less fortunate sports equipment, clothes, shoes, etc.  I am very fortunate in life to have what I currently have but understand the hard work and sacrifice it takes to get there...as well as understand and remember where I came from; thus, terms like "privilege" are absolutely ridiculous to me.  That does NOT make me un-empathetic for those in unfortunate situations or those different than mine was, it does not mean that I don't think people should receive help to get them in a better spot in life, it does not mean I think I am better than any other single person out there.  But it also doesn't mean every single person out there should just blindly receive a pass in terms of self-responsibility and accountability (and no I am not talking about the mentally handicap).  

Good luck to you TPTD....you'll need it

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  • Fire 1
  • Clown 1
Posted
2 hours ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

....Every second you can't/won't admit it, people that really need help, are going without it. Because people like you are voting, into office, reps that keep us from being able to help. 


Brother Blind, everyone I've ever met has agreed that people really need help and go without it.  No policy or politican has prevented me from exercising my personal accountability or what I personally consider a social responsibility to help others.  The example has me helping others!

What do you know of my knowledge about the realities of other people's lives?  What informs you that I'm narrow minded on this topic and that you are superior enlightened with understanding?

What makes it hard to understand that teaching personal accountability IS PROVIDING help!  You can't shame a valid and timelessly proven viewpoint.

Virtual signaling?  Yep you nailed it.  Please send me a thank you letter and flowers. /s

ZERO times have I said there were no systemic issues.  MULTIPLE times you accuse me of what I have not said.

This is one of those examples you ask for receipts on where you are misrepresenting positions.

  • Bob 2
Posted
2 hours ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

Kids should be kids.

Let's eliminate kid's wrestling from the question.  

What type of focused mindset is highly probable for successful collegiate and international wrestlers?

Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

1st. Too much to type out. 

What I don't like: a focus on winning as the goal. So much is lost, sacrificed, or abandoned in the quest to win. You're a bad coach if your athletes' only focus is winning a match. Kids should be kids. Teach them how to enjoy a stressful, yet very temporary situation and to find the benefits of working and executing in the absence of getting a hand raised. Their worth is not tied to how many points they can score for the team. 

2nd. How do you define 'successful' or 'highly probable'(cuz if you can nail down a probability for certain characteristics to be successful in this sport you should either sell it for a boat load or share it)? 

Just getting their hand raised? I do not subscribe to that definition. So I feel we would be talking past each other. 

A successful wrestlers gets out of the sport what they want. That's it. Maintain their fitness and flexibility. Learn some situational awareness. Maybe how to function better/more effectively in a various stressful environments. Use their imagination to see clear and efficient solutions to complex problems before they've even arisen. 

Up and down the spectrum of success. Plenty of people have gotten what they wanted out of very few wins and I'll bet there are plenty that would admit they wish they could go back and take a different path despite quite a bit of 'success'. I'm one of them.

Care to answer those questions yourself?

Hope it helps. 

That’s an awful long post of stuff you don’t like; to say you don’t want to type what you do like because it’s too much. 
 

You need find some joy in your life. Your are looking for things to find wrong, and looking for misery. Choose enjoyment and happiness, be grateful for what you have. You literally were just asked to post your positives, and refused so you could focus more on your negatives. Not a good vibe for life. 

Edited by WrestlingRasta
  • Bob 2
Posted
13 hours ago, jross said:


Brother Blind, everyone I've ever met has agreed that people really need help and go without it.  No policy or politican has prevented me from exercising my personal accountability or what I personally consider a social responsibility to help others.  The example has me helping others!

What do you know of my knowledge about the realities of other people's lives?  What informs you that I'm narrow minded on this topic and that you are superior enlightened with understanding?

What makes it hard to understand that teaching personal accountability IS PROVIDING help!  You can't shame a valid and timelessly proven viewpoint.

Virtual signaling?  Yep you nailed it.  Please send me a thank you letter and flowers. /s

ZERO times have I said there were no systemic issues.  MULTIPLE times you accuse me of what I have not said.

This is one of those examples you ask for receipts on where you are misrepresenting positions.

It comes from how you try to relate to those less fortunate and your suggestions of how they can follow in your example to better their lives. Some could. But others cannot. It is this subsection of people I am trying to tell you, get no benefit from your suggestion, yet you still insist that they should try anyway. As if they hadn't already, to the best of their ability. 

Its not valid or timeless. One of the things that has helped us survive is that we work together. The weaker among us, need our help to thrive and we are all better for rendering aid. 

Yes it is entirely virtue signaling. Its tough to hear or admit, I'll bet. If you had evidence of any kind that prove your point, I imagine, you would've provided it. What you're doing is making a moral judgement on anyone that doesn't succeed by using your method. That they are unworthy of help if they do not live up to your make believe standard. I would feel bad if it turned out I felt that way about anyone. Let alone people that really need a helping hand. 

Systemic issues? Please include examples. They shouldn't be hard to find. I'll wait. 

Indeed. If you could produce them there would be no need to make this comment at all. 

Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, jross said:

Let's eliminate kid's wrestling from the question.  

What type of focused mindset is highly probable for successful collegiate and international wrestlers?

Define success for me as you see it? 

Edited by ThreePointTakedown
Posted
7 hours ago, WrestlingRasta said:

That’s an awful long post of stuff you don’t like; to say you don’t want to type what you do like because it’s too much. 
 

You need find some joy in your life. Your are looking for things to find wrong, and looking for misery. Choose enjoyment and happiness, be grateful for what you have. You literally were just asked to post your positives, and refused so you could focus more on your negatives. Not a good vibe for life. 

Thanks for the input. 

Posted
3 hours ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

One of the things that has helped us survive is that we work together. The weaker among us, need our help to thrive and we are all better for rendering aid. 

Personal accountability enhances the power of working together.

 

3 hours ago, ThreePointTakedown said:

Its not valid or timeless.

Dude.  PA is taking responsibility of your actions and decisions that only you control.  It applies to the poorest of the poor, the least free of the abused, and the most privileged of the privileged.

PA is not without risks.  It IS stressful to hold myself accountable for the actions of others.  I do get burnout depending on people without PA because it puts the monkey on my back.  I can feeling guilty and self-blame when not meeting impossibly high standards.  AND THIS TRADEOFF IS WORTH THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACHIEVE MOST OF WHAT I WANT.

Think about it—nobody achieves lasting success without PA. It's been the driving force behind every significant accomplishment in history. From groundbreaking innovations to societal progress, PA has been the common thread that propels individuals forward.

  • Bob 1
Posted
2 hours ago, jross said:

To win with dominance.  

Wussiness is not happiness.

...not looking for the essay on sportsmanship, fitness, social, personal growth, self defense, character growth... etc.  can read https://www.wrestlingmindset.com/blog/lessons-from-cael-sanderson/ for that.

I don't accept that definition. Those words work perfectly well on their own. With little to know way of explaining how you can, definitively, get to either of them. Win or dominance. Again if you have some knowledge I'm all eyes. 

The second line. I don't accept your premise. You'll have to define the characteristics of the 'W' word and why they should be considered in a negative way. Then explain the causal relationship to happiness and why its effects on happiness is, again, negative. 

So how do we proceed from here? 

Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, jross said:

How the hell did you get to that idea based on my post-game message to 11 years olds to look inward on how they can grow so that the umpire's mistakes do not change the game's outcome?

 

I wouldn't give crack to an addict and I won't feed your addiction either.

I commend you for your patience with some of the posters on here. But I believe people in order to understand and improve they have to have an ability and a desire to listen and to learn. Unfortunately, I don't see that in some of the posters on here.

Edited by Paul158
missed a word
  • Brain 1
Posted
47 minutes ago, jross said:

How the hell did you get to that idea based on my post-game message to 11 years olds to look inward on how they can grow so that the umpire's mistakes do not change the game's outcome?

 

I wouldn't give crack to an addict and I won't feed your addiction either.

Again, planting a seed within the minds of children that they should look inward for help in progressing in their skills. Could leave some to believe that outward expression of their perceived vulnerabilities is wrong. Which could leave a bunch of potential mini-coaches(the kids) from helping each other overcome their senses of shame or inadequacy at not being good, better, or best at certain skills of the game.  If everyone helps and is encouraged to seek help. Then we all win. Fears are lessened. Aid is accepted more easily. Pride which might hinder the reaching out for help is replace with gratitude. Your whole model. While not wrong. Is not better or best by any means. 

And you probably wouldn't vote to fund a clinic that might aid that person in the treatment of their condition. They should look inward and seek the knowledge, courage, and fortitude to pull themselves up by there boot straps and get on the straight and narrow. But that figures. 

Posted
1 hour ago, jross said:

Personal accountability enhances the power of working together.

 

Dude.  PA is taking responsibility of your actions and decisions that only you control.  It applies to the poorest of the poor, the least free of the abused, and the most privileged of the privileged.

PA is not without risks.  It IS stressful to hold myself accountable for the actions of others.  I do get burnout depending on people without PA because it puts the monkey on my back.  I can feeling guilty and self-blame when not meeting impossibly high standards.  AND THIS TRADEOFF IS WORTH THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACHIEVE MOST OF WHAT I WANT.

Think about it—nobody achieves lasting success without PA. It's been the driving force behind every significant accomplishment in history. From groundbreaking innovations to societal progress, PA has been the common thread that propels individuals forward.

Again, there is no way to nail down 'PA'. It is and I'll say it again, 'whatever I feel is right at the time.' Which is a useless fortune cookie phrase to live by. By holding yourself to a shifting and useless ethical standard, you hold others to it. So your standard becomes the de facto standard you hold everyone else to and judge those that don't live up to it. 

You're gonna say, 'but i don't judge people.' I will refer you to the anthem discussion where you are whining about others not doing a thing to your standard despite having no knowledge of your standard or caring at all about the imaginary effects it might have on you. And discussing if they should get well deserved scholarship money taken way because of it. Not saying you agreed or not, but that the discussion was happening over a perceived slight is abhorrent.  

So you do judge people. So certain people are worthy in your eyes and some aren't. How are we to tell the difference? You can just say it. 'I don't like their lifestyle for x, y, or z and so I don't think they deserve aid or comfort for reasons a, b, or c .' At least you'd be honest, you won't have many friends, but you'll be honest. But since you're putting up such a fight over this, I imagine you won't. Thus, people that need and could be helped will go without because self-righteous people can't stomach the idea of people that are 'less than' getting help out of the hole that, likely as not, our systems helped to put them in. 

This was the argument for filling public pools with concrete after segregation was torn down. 'If they are going to be able to use it then I'd rather no one have it.' 

Voluntarily cutting of their nose to spite their face. But, ya know, racist! 

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