Impact As Coach

[Rassling]

“I believe in you but you got to want this moment” is some of what she was saying to her player.
 

Does anyone as coach have a similar “coached hard” story to share where they were this intense in reminding a specific wrestler just how good they are, then they turn around and execute as planned?

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19dw4Z4TL9/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Edited March 25 by Rassling

[jackwebster]

It took me a while to figure this out, but I couldn't coach hard. I'm not an emotional extrovert which gets read as indifferent or laid back. So, every time I intentionally got in a kid's face to fire them up, it rang false.

Then my AD told me something I never forgot: You cant lie to a kid. They always know when you're faking it. 

From that point on dropped the "get fired up" charade and leaned into technical reminders, calm reassurances, and mantras. I delegated the hard coaching and jokes to my assistants.

Worked. Kids began to trust me, and I didn't get embarrassed of myself.

 

 

[Rassling]

14 minutes ago, jackwebster said:

It took me a while to figure this out, but I couldn't coach hard. I'm not an emotional extrovert which gets read as indifferent or laid back. So, every time I intentionally got in a kid's face to fire them up, it rang false.

Then my AD told me something I never forgot: You cant lie to a kid. They always know when you're faking it. 

From that point on dropped the "get fired up" charade and leaned into technical reminders, calm reassurances, and mantras. I delegated the hard coaching and jokes to my assistants.

Worked. Kids began to trust me, and I didn't get embarrassed of myself.

 

 

thanks for sharing that with the board Jack and congrats on using your skills as coach for kids in the sport you love. I have such admiration for those of you who do and I hope others share as you just did. Thanks man!

Edited March 25 by Rassling

[Konquest]

At the high school level, there were kids who were just happy to be on a team with their friends.  There were also kids who wanted to qualify, place, and in one case, win state.  No problem with that, it's not like we were St. Eds or Blair.  Everyone can contribute to the team in their own way.

  I did a preseason survey/questionnaire where my athletes had to articulate their goals for the season.  After that point, what they communicated to me on the survey determined the standard of accountability and attention to detail I would expect.  I would call them out on it if I felt their work ethic didn't match their stated goal.  I actually got into it with a parent because I chewed his son a little when he coasted to a 5-6 pt. win rather than pushing for bonus.  The dad was like, "My kid won his match, why are you scolding him?", and I referenced the goal setting activity.  The son then said to his dad, "If I'm going to be a state qualifier, I should be teching that guy".

[Rassling]

2 minutes ago, Konquest said:

At the high school level, there were kids who were just happy to be on a team with their friends.  There were also kids who wanted to qualify, place, and in one case, win state.  No problem with that, it's not like we were St. Eds or Blair.  Everyone can contribute to the team in their own way.

  I did a preseason survey/questionnaire where my athletes had to articulate their goals for the season.  After that point, what they communicated to me on the survey determined the standard of accountability and attention to detail I would expect.  I would call them out on it if I felt their work ethic didn't match their stated goal.  I actually got into it with a parent because I chewed his son a little when he coasted to a 5-6 pt. win rather than pushing for bonus.  The dad was like, "My kid won his match, why are you scolding him?", and I referenced the goal setting activity.  The son then said to his dad, "If I'm going to be a state qualifier, I should be teching that guy".

I bet the father turned to his wife on the way home and said how happy he was their son was under the leadership of coach Konquest. Great post sir. Thanks for sharing!

[Konquest]

6 minutes ago, Rassling said:

I bet the father turned to his wife on the way home and said how happy he was their son was under the leadership of coach Konquest. Great post sir. Thanks for sharing!

LOL.  While that would be a storybook ending to this anecdote, I guarantee the parents still thought/think I'm an a-hole.  The "p-word" is 99% of what is wrong with kids' sports these days.  I was just happy the wrestler understood, in that moment, what he signed up for when he declared his goals.

[Rassling]

3 minutes ago, Konquest said:

LOL.  While that would be a storybook ending to this anecdote, I guarantee the parents still thought/think I'm an a-hole.  The "p-word" is 99% of what is wrong with kids' sports these days.  I was just happy the wrestler understood, in that moment, what he signed up for when he declared his goals.

I like your no nonsense approach. The kids won’t ever forget you, mark my words.  I still vividly recall my first wrestling coach in junior highschool yelling at me while on the mat during a pinning opportunity. He’d yell out “perpendicular (my name), perpendicular.” A bunch of LI Italian kids coached by a passionate Italian coach who was also a math teacher is something many of us still talk about today decades later during each season. The point is a coach no matter his / her training methods and style will never be forgotten and should be celebrated from time to time. Hence the purpose of the thread. I hope others contribute.

[Rassling]

bump - never mind the messenger, I know there are more of you out there. Here’s your opportunity. 1000’s of lurkers - some early in their wrestling career, may learn something from you. Come on man, do it for the team. Whose next?

[Idaho]

"You were up by 5 and got PINNED!"

"Yeah, do you think I wanted to get pinned in front of everybody?"

Fair point...

[jackwebster]

2 minutes ago, Idaho said:

"You were up by 5 and got PINNED!"

"Yeah, do you think I wanted to get pinned in front of everybody?"

Fair point...

 

 

[Rassling]

yes funny video, it’s been around for a while. Admittedly I stared at his ears the whole time to determine if they provide any evidence of mat exposure. Difficult from an Iphone

Edited March 25 by Rassling

[JimmyCinnabon]

5 hours ago, jackwebster said:

It took me a while to figure this out, but I couldn't coach hard. I'm not an emotional extrovert which gets read as indifferent or laid back. So, every time I intentionally got in a kid's face to fire them up, it rang false.

Then my AD told me something I never forgot: You cant lie to a kid. They always know when you're faking it. 

From that point on dropped the "get fired up" charade and leaned into technical reminders, calm reassurances, and mantras. I delegated the hard coaching and jokes to my assistants.

Worked. Kids began to trust me, and I didn't get embarrassed of myself.

 

 

This is what makes me a poor coach. I too cannot fake that emotion and I don't know jack squat about wrestling so what do I even tell my kids? Who knows.

[maligned]

58 minutes ago, Rassling said:

yes funny video, it’s been around for a while. Admittedly I stared at his ears the whole time to determine if they provide any evidence of mat exposure. Difficult from an Iphone

[Rassling]

Just now, maligned said:

Wow leave it to the internet, great find - thanks! I’ll admit, now I want to watch it again!

[LoserJucoMan]

I was admittedly very uncoachable throughout most of my wrestling career, and it was often because I never had a coach really invest in me. It always felt like I wasn't a favorite on my team so even though I was one of the hardest workers and busted my ass 110% every practice my coaches respect would fly out the window once I lost. He'd hype me up and hype me up before the match and then once I lost I got a pat on the back and was ignored the rest of the tournament for the guys still on the winning side of the bracket. That kind of made me develop a "I can only trust myself" mentality in high school and college

[LoserJucoMan]

Long story short I guess I'm saying is if you do that coach hard "you can do it!" approach I think you should not only mean it but have it be consistent and keep that mentality win or lose

[Rassling]

Ok, so perhaps alignment with the tone of the video is questionable. I get that. What about other examples of getting a skillful wrestler performing less than to perform @ 100%? How did you do it? What did you say? Theres got to be one specific memorable moment in your career that sticks in your mind. You have the floor.

Edited March 25 by Rassling

[Rassling]

17 minutes ago, LoserJucoMan said:

Long story short I guess I'm saying is if you do that coach hard "you can do it!" approach I think you should not only mean it but have it be consistent and keep that mentality win or lose

young man, congratulations for choosing the sport of wrestling. You  should remove the word loser from your moniker. Win or lose you gained more mental and physical toughness in your daily training than any other sport. That makes you a winner. If you take the discipline you learned from wrestling and applied it to your career, mark my word - you will succeed. There are too many to count wrestlers who have already done so.

Edited March 25 by Rassling

[jchapman]

Here's a story about a wrestling coach inspiring me.

I was a football player who wrestled during wrestling season.  That was my mentality.  The head wrestling coach was an assistant football coach who was biding his time until he got the head football job.  (He did go on to become the head FB coach, win multiple state championships, and get inducted in to the state FB coaches HOF).

I was a sophomore wrestling 160 and my practice partner was a junior wrestling 171.  He was bigger, older, stronger, and better than me.  I would lose to him every day.  It made sense to me for the reasons just stated.

One day the head coach wasn't at practice and the assistant coach was in charge.  We were doing situational wrestling, going live from different positions.  Whoever won the position got to watch the other guy do 20 pushups.  The assistant came over to watch me and my partner.  I kept losing every position.  I was waiting for the whole thing to end soon, getting tired of the pushups.  He just kept going position after position with no end in sight.  I got pissed and actually starting winning positions.  It never occurred to me before that I could beat this guy, it just wasn't on my radar.  The assistant coach showed me that he knew I could, and then let me prove it to myself.  I became a wrestler, not just a football player on the wrestling team.

I saw him many years later and told him about this moment and what an impact it had on me.  He had no recollection of it.

Edited March 25 by jchapman

[ScottishSteel]

14 hours ago, Rassling said:

Wow leave it to the internet, great find - thanks! I’ll admit, now I want to watch it again!

I believe he beat Bormet in the Bloodround

[Rassling]

14 hours ago, jchapman said:

Here's a story about a wrestling coach inspiring me.

I was a football player who wrestled during wrestling season.  That was my mentality.  The head wrestling coach was an assistant football coach who was biding his time until he got the head football job.  (He did go on to become the head FB coach, win multiple state championships, and get inducted in to the state FB coaches HOF).

I was a sophomore wrestling 160 and my practice partner was a junior wrestling 171.  He was bigger, older, stronger, and better than me.  I would lose to him every day.  It made sense to me for the reasons just stated.

One day the head coach wasn't at practice and the assistant coach was in charge.  We were doing situational wrestling, going live from different positions.  Whoever won the position got to watch the other guy do 20 pushups.  The assistant came over to watch me and my partner.  I kept losing every position.  I was waiting for the whole thing to end soon, getting tired of the pushups.  He just kept going position after position with no end in sight.  I got pissed and actually starting winning positions.  It never occurred to me before that I could beat this guy, it just wasn't on my radar.  The assistant coach showed me that he knew I could, and then let me prove it to myself.  I became a wrestler, not just a football player on the wrestling team.

I saw him many years later and told him about this moment and what an impact it had on me.  He had no recollection of it.

He may have forgotten but you haven’t. Great story jchapman. Thank you for sharing!

[JimmyCinnabon]

16 hours ago, jchapman said:

Here's a story about a wrestling coach inspiring me.

I was a football player who wrestled during wrestling season.  That was my mentality.  The head wrestling coach was an assistant football coach who was biding his time until he got the head football job.  (He did go on to become the head FB coach, win multiple state championships, and get inducted in to the state FB coaches HOF).

I was a sophomore wrestling 160 and my practice partner was a junior wrestling 171.  He was bigger, older, stronger, and better than me.  I would lose to him every day.  It made sense to me for the reasons just stated.

One day the head coach wasn't at practice and the assistant coach was in charge.  We were doing situational wrestling, going live from different positions.  Whoever won the position got to watch the other guy do 20 pushups.  The assistant came over to watch me and my partner.  I kept losing every position.  I was waiting for the whole thing to end soon, getting tired of the pushups.  He just kept going position after position with no end in sight.  I got pissed and actually starting winning positions.  It never occurred to me before that I could beat this guy, it just wasn't on my radar.  The assistant coach showed me that he knew I could, and then let me prove it to myself.  I became a wrestler, not just a football player on the wrestling team.

I saw him many years later and told him about this moment and what an impact it had on me.  He had no recollection of it.

I had a wrestling coach who really invested in me. The section tournament was coming up and I knew I would face a kid who had pinned me twice in the finals. We already knew that's where it was heading. The kid was a cradle kid, and had locked me up in a cradle twice already for the fall, once that year and once the year before. He was tall and really long, so he was very good at cradling guys, especially guys like me who have never been tall.

My coach worked with me for three straight weeks at practice on cradle defense. When the section finals came I put an a*s whipping on this dude. I won 14-2 and at one point when he tried to cradle me I countered him with my own cradle and put him on his back. It was a drubbing.

I ran into that coach at a wrestling tournament a couple of decades later. He didn't even remember me despite coaching me for years and years. 

[Rassling]

6 minutes ago, JimmyCinnabon said:

I had a wrestling coach who really invested in me. The section tournament was coming up and I knew I would face a kid who had pinned me twice in the finals. We already knew that's where it was heading. The kid was a cradle kid, and had locked me up in a cradle twice already for the fall, once that year and once the year before. He was tall and really long, so he was very good at cradling guys, especially guys like me who have never been tall.

My coach worked with me for three straight weeks at practice on cradle defense. When the section finals came I put an a*s whipping on this dude. I won 14-2 and at one point when he tried to cradle me I countered him with my own cradle and put him on his back. It was a drubbing.

I ran into that coach at a wrestling tournament a couple of decades later. He didn't even remember me despite coaching me for years and years. 

Just a great comeback story JimmyC. Seems like you had an excellent coach in your corner, one that left a lasting impression. Thanks for putting us in the audience to watch you. I felt like I was there after reading that. Thanks for sharing sir!

[Curt Foley]

On 3/25/2026 at 8:21 AM, jackwebster said:

It took me a while to figure this out, but I couldn't coach hard. I'm not an emotional extrovert which gets read as indifferent or laid back. So, every time I intentionally got in a kid's face to fire them up, it rang false.

Then my AD told me something I never forgot: You cant lie to a kid. They always know when you're faking it. 

From that point on dropped the "get fired up" charade and leaned into technical reminders, calm reassurances, and mantras. I delegated the hard coaching and jokes to my assistants.

Worked. Kids began to trust me, and I didn't get embarrassed of myself.

 

 

What a great post jackwebster and so true.

Likewise, I always found it more important to be consistent in all matters than try to be someone else.  Consistency brings with it, trust.  

Regards Coach!

[Rassling]

1 hour ago, Curt Foley said:

What a great post jackwebster and so true.

Likewise, I always found it more important to be consistent in all matters than try to be someone else.  Consistency brings with it, trust.  

Regards Coach!

Mr Foley, anything you would consider sharing?