MOVIES

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

On 12/9/2024 at 9:05 AM, Danny Deck said:

Went to this over the weekend. I enjoyed it. Jude Law trying his best to be Gene Hackman. They did great with the robbery scenes.

 

 

 

"Jude Law trying his best to be Gene Hackman" is a good line and a smart career move. Cheers!

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

The very latest Rotten Tomatoes guide to free movies on YouTube is out for 2024. There are a number of tasty selections on the menu. I was going to watch Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga tonight, but I'm going cheap and will watch a free movie on YouTube. 

I'm leaning towards Source Code (2011), but I'm also going to eventually watch Train to Busan (2016). Also on the list is The Insider (1999). Thoughts? Recommendations? 

I'm also thinking about doing my own YouTube movie channel reviews. Because there aren't enough of them now. This'll have to be after the college season, though. 

[Danny Deck]

I hate this time of year. All of the "Opening on..." dates are lies as they mean opening in maybe 5 cities. Particularly looking forward to September 5 and The Brutalist. I find it particularly annoying that The Brutalist isn't going wide over the holidays because it's 3.5 hours. I'm going to set the time aside but work with me here on releasing it when I'm going to have days off work anyway.

 

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

7 hours ago, Danny Deck said:

I hate this time of year. All of the "Opening on..." dates are lies as they mean opening in maybe 5 cities. Particularly looking forward to September 5 and The Brutalist. I find it particularly annoying that The Brutalist isn't going wide over the holidays because it's 3.5 hours. I'm going to set the time aside but work with me here on releasing it when I'm going to have days off work anyway.

 

 

I will probably never see September 5, as I've read the books and the newspaper articles and seen the documentaries. I get the fresh perspective angle, but it is from a perspective that I don't particularly prize. I also don't like unhappy endings, and I especially don't like unhappy beginnings, middles and endings. 

On the other hand, I will certainly see The Brutalist, as it sounds like it will be another The Godfather experience that travels into an era from a perspective about which I'd like to learn more. Plus, it's getting killer reviews. In fact, that helps me better understand movie review aggregators like Rotten Tomatoes, and it helps me explain my review of Source Code. 

SOURCE CODE (2011) 

Whereas a lot of the critics have raved about The Brutalist, giving it 9 out of 10 or calling it an "epic" and so forth, it is my theory that a massive percentage of critics and audiences saw Source Code as a pretty good movie. Yet, it gets a 92% rating from critics and 82% from audiences at Rotten Tomatoes. 

That's where Math comes in. 

Great films like Memento, A Bug's Life, Children of Men, Traffic, Cinderella (1950 animated) and West Side Story (1961) also sit at 92%. The key to Source Code is that only a small percentage of the critics hated it, not that a large percentage loved it. In other words, there was something in the movie for each critic to give it a Bart-Simpson-passes-the-fourth-grade grade. 

Here be Spoilers. 

This may be the most derivative movie in Hollywood history. Here you have stolen IP from Groundhog Day, Jacob's Ladder and especially 12 Monkeys. Thing is, Groundhog Day is funnier, Jacob's Ladder is scarier and 12 Monkeys is more dramatic. 

But the movie is pretty good. 

As for the Science Fiction, I want my Sci-Fi based on something more than an analogy. It was a good and interesting analogy--the way a light flickers as it goes out--but not enough to base a movie around it. That's why when science makes a giant leap, we get all of the new genres of Sci-Fi, whether it is rocket ships in the 1950s (Rocketship X-M, after the development of "practical" rockets in WWII), meetings with alien creatures (2001: A Space Odyssey, just before and after the Apollo missions), computers (War Games), and now Artificial Intelligence (Ex Machina). 

Here is where I get hypocritical: The movie is pretty good. The acting, screenplay, CGI and action are all ... pretty good. In fact, Source Code passes my Bart-Simpson-passes-the-fourth-grade bar for a recommendation: It is worth the money and time spent on a free YouTube viewing. 

 

 

 

 

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

I don't like sushi.

I don't like the idea of sushi. What kind of small-brained mammal decided to forgo fire and heat to eat their fish plucked directly from nature? I did like Jiro Dreams of Sushi, which is #1 on the list of free YouTube videos on Rotten Tomatoes with a 99% rating on their Tomatometer. 

Again, we need to discuss how they come up with their ratings. This isn't a documentary that is 99% perfect. It is a fine, okay look at a master sushi chef. I think it is another of those films that nobody really has an objection to, but it isn't going to set the world on fire. It's not Citizen Kane, nor is it The Thin Blue Line. 

I bring up the latter only because I want to toot my own horn. 

The Thin Blue Line is an award-winning documentary about the unjust conviction of a man for murder in Texas. Back in the day, I represented the distributors of The Thin Blue Line in a Texas court. My clients wanted to remove a state lawsuit to federal court. The lawsuit was filed by a Texas lawman for defamation, as the documentary seemed to imply that he had been in cahoots with a murderer, helping him get away with murder. 

I was successful despite my client being a raging ******* who was almost impossible to talk to over the telephone, and it seems that a couple decades later, Harvey Weinstein's character finally caught up with him. What does all of this have to do with Jiro Dreams of Sushi? Well, diddly. 

Okay. It has a little to do with it.

The Thin Blue Line is a documentary full of drama and excitement. It is 99% awesome. Jiro Dreams of Sushi is a week in the life of a sushi chef, and 99% of critics didn't have a problem with that. I would recommend it because it's free on YouTube and worth the time. If you like sushi, it is probably a must-watch.  

If you haven't seen The Thin Blue Line, you should watch it now for free. It is epic:

 

 

 

 

[BuckyBadger]

I’ll just leave this here.

 

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

22 minutes ago, BuckyBadger said:

I’ll just leave this here.

 

 

Quirky. 

Here be Spoilers:

I guessed the ending exactly, except when the ref asked, "Ya good?," I expected the kid to look into the crowd and say, "Yeah. I'm good." Instead, he just smiled. 

By the way, headlocks and hip tosses are to wrestling movies what frying pans and two by fours are to Tom & Jerry cartoons. 

What did you think, Bucky? 

[BuckyBadger]

8 hours ago, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

 

Quirky. 

Here be Spoilers:

I guessed the ending exactly, except when the ref asked, "Ya good?," I expected the kid to look into the crowd and say, "Yeah. I'm good." Instead, he just smiled. 

By the way, headlocks and hip tosses are to wrestling movies what frying pans and two by fours are to Tom & Jerry cartoons. 

What did you think, Bucky? 

It’s not winning an Oscar, but I thought it was hilarious and really enjoyed it. Here’s why:

1. Two of my favorites, Will Ferrell and wrestling, together in one movie.

2. We’ve all seen the hyped up kid who thinks he’s going to conquer the world, but goes out there and gets pinned right away. I thought the kid portrayed that character pretty well.

3. The kid busting into a therapy session for a suicidal patient because his dad the therapist is missing his match….over the top but they pulled it off.

4. Regarding the head lock/hip toss, I agree that way too many wrestling movies don’t have the most realistic wrestling and show many more throws than actually happen. But in this case the kid said in the movie he was wrestling “a beast”, and when the match started he ran right into him. Ideal for a good throw.

5. I thought the ending was great, kid gets pinned, dad and patient are in the stands and everyone is happy.

Edited December 27, 2024 by BuckyBadger

[RockLobster]

On 12/23/2024 at 9:39 PM, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

I don't like sushi.

I don't like the idea of sushi. What kind of small-brained mammal decided to forgo fire and heat to eat their fish plucked directly from nature? I did like Jiro Dreams of Sushi, which is #1 on the list of free YouTube videos on Rotten Tomatoes with a 99% rating on their Tomatometer. 

Red flag on IWB. You have been DQ'd in your review of this movie.

If you don't like sushi, and you don't like the idea of sushi, you are exactly the small-brained mammal that is incapable of wrapping your head around the importance of the pursuit of sushi perfection.

It just takes hours and hours of learning, hours and hours of repetition, hours and hours of dedication and sacrifice.

After all, perfection in one arena isn't really much different than perfection in any other arena.

Edited December 28, 2024 by RockLobster

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

12 hours ago, RockLobster said:

Red flag on IWB. You have been DQ'd in your review of this movie.

If you don't like sushi, and you don't like the idea of sushi, you are exactly the small-brained mammal that is incapable of wrapping your head around the importance of the pursuit of sushi perfection.

It just takes hours and hours of learning, hours and hours of repetition, hours and hours of dedication and sacrifice.

After all, perfection in one arena isn't really much different than perfection in any other arena.

 

You have a point, especially since you are a lobster of some sort. But here is the fly in the ointment: My next review of a free YouTube movie is about zombies....

 

 

[Wrestleknownothing]

16 hours ago, RockLobster said:

Red flag on IWB. You have been DQ'd in your review of this movie.

If you don't like sushi, and you don't like the idea of sushi, you are exactly the small-brained mammal that is incapable of wrapping your head around the importance of the pursuit of sushi perfection.

It just takes hours and hours of learning, hours and hours of repetition, hours and hours of dedication and sacrifice.

After all, perfection in one arena isn't really much different than perfection in any other arena.

I loved Jiro Dreams of Sushi.

I love sushi even more. I used to be a non-sushi guy, now I get sushi cravings.

And for any western suburbs of Chicago denizens Sushi by Chef Soon is the place to scratch any sushi itch.

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

TRAIN TO BUSAN

 

This is the second movie in a row with subtitles that I’ve reviewed. I get a tweed jacket with elbow patches and a doctorate for that, no? This film was made in South Korea and features South Korean actors speaking something unintelligible, possibly Korean.

It is also a movie about zombies. They are even less intelligible.

When Train to Busan arrived in theaters in 2016, it was a few years past the high-water mark set by the flood of movies that featured reanimated corpses. The waters had receded after 28 Days Later (2002), Resident Evil (2002), Dawn of the Dead (2004), Shaun of the Dead (2004), I Am Legend (2007), 28 Weeks Later (2007), Zombieland (2009), World War Z (2013) and about 150 others. However, The Walking Dead was still in its television salad days.

And that gives me a chance to tell you that zombies played an important role in my stand-up comedy act about ten or fifteen years ago. They’re pretty funny. As monsters go.

It used to be that if you were young and nimble, the old school monsters like Frankenstein, the Mummy and Swamp Thing, and even the Night-of-the-Living-Dead zombies, were easy to evade.

Once you saw one of them, you simply picked up your pace a little. [Walk across the stage, see a zombie, “Oh, a zombie,” walk slightly faster].

Or, lengthen your stride a bit. Maybe pump your arms.

But times change. I blame Will Smith and Warner Brothers for upping the ante on zombies with their movie I Am Legend. You see, zombies can now sprint!

The undead had become scarier. Even if you were watching out for the tree roots that seemed to trip up everybody in the old horror movies, and even if you were in decent shape, they could still getcha.

Then in World War Z and later in Train to Busan, the zombies showed some minimal insect intelligence, usually based on trial and error, and yes, mostly error, but like an infinite number of monkeys typing for an infinite number of years, ten thousand zombies can make a lot of mistakes, but it only takes one zombie to get it right.

Still, I think we haven’t seen the scariest zombie yet. That is, until we see the one who is super intelligent. Imagine you’re standing on your porch with a shotgun in your arms while a zombie stands in your field just exactly outside of shotgun range.

[deadpan voice] Because he looked it up on Wikipedia.

You’re staring at him staring at you, and he yells, “Oh for crying out loud, Charles, you’re gonna hafta sleep sometime!” Or, he says, “Okay. Screw you. I’m gonna get my own shotgun.” Then, as he turns around to ransack to the gun shop, he pauses, turns back around and pokes fun at himself and the stereotype he represents by saying, “And I almost forgot … BRRRAAAAAIIINNNS.”

That would be a scary ******* zombie. Now back to the movie.

Here be spoilers. It was fast-paced and energetic. I would say that it is the equal to or better than World War Z. Not quite as good as Zombieland, but that movie was scary and funny. The zombies in Train to Busan were just as ill-tempered, but the human cast included people we really hated and people we really rooted for.

Folks who you wanted to survive, did not.

That sucks, but it makes for a more powerful movie. The creatures here acted a little differently from past zombies. I would categorize the zombies from Night of the Living Dead as independent contractors. The World War Z creatures acted a lot like a colony of insects. Train to Busan zombies reminded me of a feeding frenzy of sharks attacking a school of fish.

The monsters had some strange idiosyncrasies, though, including a weird “powering down mode” when the lights were shut off or when the train entered a tunnel. I think zombies should be fully functional in the dark. That’s when they’re the scariest! Moreover, during the daylight, a zombie is completely indistinguishable from a liberal arts major.

The movie’s budget was $8.5 million, and that’s hard to believe because the zombie make-up alone must have cost seven figures. The budget for World War Z was approximately $200 million, and I can’t tell a difference. Train to Busan did steal one zombie affectation from World War Z, but the Koreans gave it their own little railroad twist.

Can a zombie movie end in poetry and song? This one does, beautiful and bittersweet.

Train to Busan made more than 10x their budget at the box office and deservedly so. It runs for 118 exciting minutes, has a 95% critics’ rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and it’s well worth your time as a free movie on YouTube, and I mean on YouTube:

 

 

 

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

On 12/28/2024 at 4:51 PM, Wrestleknownothing said:

I loved Jiro Dreams of Sushi.

I love sushi even more. I used to be a non-sushi guy, now I get sushi cravings.

And for any western suburbs of Chicago denizens Sushi by Chef Soon is the place to scratch any sushi itch.

You should start a Food Channel on this here platform. Besides being ironic on a site that worships weight cutting, I would come in hard on the Sushi versus Cajun Blackened Fish debate.

 

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

Ranking seafood preparations:

1. Cajun blackened.

2. Mom hand-breading my fresh crappies and sunfish.

3. Gumbo and Bisque.

4. Probably something French

5. Landry's (seafood restaurant)

6. Bonefish Grill (seafood restaurant)

7. Long John Silver's / Captain D's (fastfood restaurant)

8. High school cafeteria.

9. Hospital cafeteria.

10. Chef spits on your fish post-cooking.

11. Sushi.

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

THE WARRIORS (1979)

 

You don’t become a man until you’ve watched this movie.

It comes in at #29 on the list of best free YouTube movies on Rotten Tomatoes with twin 88% ratings on their Tomatometer (critics) and Popcornmeter (audiences). And yet, the acting is so wooden that it almost reaches Billy Jack levels.

Keanu Reeves has more theatrical ability in his thumbs than the entire Warriors cast.

But I would argue that the acting is perfect. These are older teens who want to be men, and all they know is to act tough. Emotion and fear and sorrow and longing are not allowed.

We’re not watching this movie for character development, we don’t care if the characters experience growth. Inner conflict and backstory are for thespians. We’re watching this movie to see if the Warriors make it out alive.

Here Be Spoilers.

The film is basically one long chase scene. There’s a gang from Coney Island named the Warriors who attend a massive conclave of the important New York City street gangs. When the leader of the largest gang gets assassinated at the meeting, the Warriors are framed for it, and that sets every outfit in the five boroughs after them.

The thrill of the movie is watching how they fight or evade these other gangs and the police as they try to get back to their home turf in Coney Island.

It’s exciting to watch the Baseball Furies, a rival gang, sprinting after the Warriors down the dark trash-strewn streets of New York while wielding baseball bats and wearing makeup and pinstripe Yankee uniforms.

 

 

 

That’s ******* awesome.

The movie races along like a first-person shooter, and it has a perfect soundtrack that is half gritty video game and half horror movie. The song by Joe Walsh at the end is transcendent and fits the movie perfectly. It was later included in the Eagles album The Long Run, which reached 7xplatinum.

There’s a section in the middle of the movie, which, if it was in a song, would be the guitar solo, but I call it “Woman Trouble.” The Warriors all have to deal with a woman or women trying to kill, arrest or love them. Like I said, woman trouble. There’s also prolific use of the “F” word.

No, not that one. The other one.

I would argue that The Warriors was a cultural phenomenon that didn’t just result in a cult classic. The movie caused a stir as newspapers reported rival gangs fighting each other in and around theaters while it was playing. Additionally, it deserves some credit for the fighter arcade games that soon appeared. Sure, most of that credit goes to Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and others, but give some of that glory to the gang from Coney Island.

An actual Warriors video game finally reached PlayStation 2 in 2005, and it was rereleased for PlayStations 3 and 4.

When it came out in 1979, Roger Ebert gave The Warriors a thumb’s down and only two out of four stars. He wrote, “It’s a ballet of stylized male violence.”

Like I said, ******* awesome.

Gene Siskel threatened to put the film on his ten worst list. From their TV review, you can guess that both Siskel and Ebert hated wrestling back in high school gym class. Why? Because wrestling is a ballet of stylized male violence. Me? I like it, and The Warriors, a lot.

The last ten minutes of the movie are truly epic. It makes you want to find an alley and rough up a few of those Jones Street Boys. The dirty mugs! There’s also a meme that has stood the test of time: “Warriors, come out and play-e-ay. Warriors, come out and PLAY-E-AYYYY!” That line has been featured on The Simpsons and sampled on rap and hip hop tracks. And finally you have the lyrics from that incredible Joe Walsh song:

 

I was born here in the city,

With my back against the wall,

Nothing grows here, life ain’t very pretty,

No one’s there to catch you when you fall.

 

Watch it for free. You’ve heard “you’ll thank me later” a thousand times before from your drug dealer, your cousin from Boston with the hot stock tip and even the faded sports star who wants you to get a boner with his special pill, but this time it’s really true:

 

 

 

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

RADIUS (2017)

Here I continue my journey through the 100 best free movies on YouTube according to Rotten Tomatoes. Radius is #66 in the top 100, and it is supposed to be a Sci-Fi thriller that is also part mystery. It has a 93% critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis provides:

"When he wakes up after a car accident and doesn't have a memory, a man makes his way into town to look for help. As he heads to town to look for help, he discovers dead bodies that have strange pale eyes."

 

This movie was awful stinky garbage trash. 

The Science Fiction was stupid and pointless except as a plot device for a cringe plot. The acting was horrible. The pace was a crawl, and the special effects were worse than or equal to the special effects that I personally apply to a two-minute video about ILLINI heavyweight wrestler Luke Luffman.

 

 

The only mystery offered by this movie is how the **** it received a positive recommendation from 93% of the film critics who reviewed it. I was so stunned by the awfulness of it — I felt so scammed by it — that I was determined to solve this mystery. 

I believe that I did. 

The first clue was in the movie credits. As they roll by, you learn that the movie was made in Canada by Canadians who worked for a Canadian production company. It was filmed entirely in Canada. Moreover, it received a special tax exemption from the Canadian government. 

The second and final clue came from the critics who reviewed the movie. You actually have to dig a little deeper than the reviews themselves. You see, Canadians look a lot like us, they sound and write like us, but they are not us. They are Canadian. 

Never forget that. 

To solve the mystery, you have to go beyond the reviews and google the names of the critics. Approximately 80% of them are citizens of Canada or the UK, which is what I call "Stuck up Canada." The American critics who recommended this pig slop were from Minnesota and Oregon, which are like mini-Canadas without the hockey and good manners.

It's sad that these folks would destroy their credibility because of geography, I write, as a writer for the ILLINI Wrestling Blog & Forum & Beyond Plus, but that's the world we live in. My hypocrisy is fine, yours, when it affects me in a negative way, is the worst thing ever!