Funny coaching anecdotes

[Formally140]

Had an experience that made me make the thread. Kinda thing that you eithber laugh at or over stress yourself about. 
Yesterday: bus comes at 4:30.

3:30 - me: “go get your nails checked by manager and cut em if needed”

4:00 - my freshman 106 literally right in front of me when I said to do it. “Coach I need the clippers”. Me: “I told you to do this 30 minutes ago…” him looking terrified: “uhhh yeah I um wasn’t listening”. Sigh. “Go do it”

515: warming up: holds his thumb up to me. “Coach I need clippers”. Me: “I told you to and you came later to cut them  and you didn’t finish it?” “Uhhh ummm yeah”.. please don’t tell my dad”. Sigh. “Go”

 

and the classic, “all I ate was an orange” stories

[BobDole]

One of my favorites

Kid that doesn't miss often misses an off-season practice. 

Me: Why weren't you here the other day?
Kid: I had to get my internet turned on.
Me(a little perplexed at why it was at 6pm in the evening): Why were you doing that at 6pm and why weren't your parents doing that?
Kid: Well it was a little more than that.
Me: Do tell...
Kid: Well "someone" had been downloading movies on our router and I had to sit through an educational seminar. I think it was my neighbor.
Me: Uh huh sure....

[Formally140]

6 hours ago, BobDole said:

One of my favorites

Kid that doesn't miss often misses an off-season practice. 

Me: Why weren't you here the other day?
Kid: I had to get my internet turned on.
Me(a little perplexed at why it was at 6pm in the evening): Why were you doing that at 6pm and why weren't your parents doing that?
Kid: Well it was a little more than that.
Me: Do tell...
Kid: Well "someone" had been downloading movies on our router and I had to sit through an educational seminar. I think it was my neighbor.
Me: Uh huh sure....

It took me years but I’ve finally started to be able to just look at them and watch them melt. It’s so much easier than yelling 

[nick]

I always like watching someone new to coaching yelling the whole "just stand up" - granted at times you get the kid who is just laying there, but generally if it was that easy they would get up

I've really stopped yelling during most matches and do the majority of tweaks between periods or any downtime (injury/blood/etc..) - honestly I think giving looks of approval and affirming what they are doing is working and providing small pointers is better than just yelling crap the entire time

[Formally140]

On 1/3/2023 at 8:02 AM, nick said:

I always like watching someone new to coaching yelling the whole "just stand up" - granted at times you get the kid who is just laying there, but generally if it was that easy they would get up

I've really stopped yelling during most matches and do the majority of tweaks between periods or any downtime (injury/blood/etc..) - honestly I think giving looks of approval and affirming what they are doing is working and providing small pointers is better than just yelling crap the entire time

I’m not perfect. But I’ve definitely trended towards the latter way of doing it. 

[Interviewed_at_Weehawken]

"Where's Dave?"

"He had to drive Kurt Vonnegut home."

[jackwebster]

On 1/3/2023 at 9:02 AM, nick said:

I always like watching someone new to coaching yelling the whole "just stand up" - granted at times you get the kid who is just laying there, but generally if it was that easy they would get up

I've really stopped yelling during most matches and do the majority of tweaks between periods or any downtime (injury/blood/etc..) - honestly I think giving looks of approval and affirming what they are doing is working and providing small pointers is better than just yelling crap the entire time

Word. Rare is the kid you just isn't trying. They want to win and want to please you. Yelling is frustration and frustration is contagious.

[MPhillips]

2 hours ago, jackwebster said:

Yelling is frustration and frustration is contagious.

[Formally140]

On 1/22/2023 at 4:49 AM, jackwebster said:

Word. Rare is the kid you just isn't trying. They want to win and want to please you. Yelling is frustration and frustration is contagious.

I don’t suffer from the tragedy of perfection but I’m much better lol

[Formally140]

I have a new all time favorite. Kid wins his first match today after losing 2-4. Finally stops reaching back. 
we’re all happy and whatnot

”Sorry it took so long coach.. I was making sure he was tired”