Trump stood tall, pointing at the charts. "Folks, the stock market—look, it goes up, it goes down, but believe me, it’s all very legal, very cool. No Armageddon, no disaster, just a little hiccup, maybe the best hiccup we’ve ever seen!" The crowd roared. "Fake news says ‘oh no, numbers bad!’ but trust me, numbers love me. Bigly. Tremendous bounce coming. Bing bong, stock go zoom, everyone wins!" Behind him, the ticker flashed a sea of red, but Trump just grinned. "Rocket ships, folks! Any day now!"