The joke/meme thread

[Doublehalf]

20 minutes ago, ionel said:

What is "healthy" about kale?  

Considered a "super food" because of the nutrients/vitamins in it

[Caveira]

40 minutes ago, Doublehalf said:

I've tried eating kale many times in many ways because I know it's healthy... it is honestly just a terrible food to eat if you would even go as far to call it food. Makes you feel like a farm animal munching on a hay bale.

I make a mean Tuscan chicken soup with kale.  But Thad’s about it.  My daughters bearded dragon eats it.

 

its supposed to be vegetarian but I swap out the veg stock with chicken stock and add pancetta….. and sometimes grilled chicken

Edited 20 hours ago by Caveira

[Doublehalf]

2 minutes ago, Caveira said:

make a mean Tuscan chicken soup with kale.

My wife basically specializes in making soups and only soups... you gotta send that recipe so I can pass it along 

[Caveira]

13 minutes ago, Doublehalf said:

My wife basically specializes in making soups and only soups... you gotta send that recipe so I can pass it along 

3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for drizzling on bread

1/2 cup kidney beans soaked overnight… or 14 oz can rinsed drained etc   

1/2 cup cannellini beans soaked overnight… or 14 oz can rinsed drained etc   

note: the beans are sort of the star.  Both can be red.   Both can be white.   I’ll often add extra.     

1/2 pound diced pancetta… can sub bacon 

2 cups diced yellow onions

1 cup diced celery

1 cup diced carrots

4-10 cloves garlic, sliced

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 (14-ounce) can diced tomatoes…  sometimes fire roasted 

1 (14-ounce) can chick peas, drained and rinsed

2 quarts home made chicken stock … roast bones / carcass etc 

2 sprigs rosemary

3 sprigs thyme

1 sprig oregano

1 bay leaf

1 teaspoon red chili flakes

1-2 heads Lacinata kale

1 crusty bread cut into thick slices

optional - either chicken from the stock pulled…. Or grilled chicken breasts or thighs sided… add at the end to warm through   

Parmigiano-Reggiano, grated, for serving

Place the kidney beans in a medium pot, add water to cover by 2-inches and bring to a boil. (If using canned kidney beans, skip this step.) Turn the heat down, let simmer for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until just-tender. Use the same process for the cannellini beans.

In a large soup pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the pancetta, rendering the fat and cooking until slightly crispy about 3 minutes. Saute the onion, celery, carrot and garlic for 3 to 4 minutes. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste. Add the diced tomatoes, the cooked and drained kidney beans, cannellini beans, chick peas, and the chicken stock. Using kitchen twine, tie the herbs and the bay leaf into a bundle and add to the pot. Season with the red chili flakes, salt and pepper. Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, then add the kale. Continue cooking until the beans are completely tender.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Drizzle olive oil over the slices of peasant bread, season with a little salt and pepper and toast in the oven. Serve the soup in large bowls with grated Parmesan and a slice of toast.

 

[Doublehalf]

6 minutes ago, Caveira said:

3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for drizzling on bread

1/2 cup kidney beans soaked overnight… or 14 oz can rinsed drained etc   

1/2 cup cannellini beans soaked overnight… or 14 oz can rinsed drained etc   

note: the beans are sort of the star.  Both can be red.   Both can be white.   I’ll often add extra.     

1/2 pound diced pancetta… can sub bacon 

2 cups diced yellow onions

1 cup diced celery

1 cup diced carrots

4-10 cloves garlic, sliced

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 (14-ounce) can diced tomatoes…  sometimes fire roasted 

1 (14-ounce) can chick peas, drained and rinsed

2 quarts home made chicken stock … roast bones / carcass etc 

2 sprigs rosemary

3 sprigs thyme

1 sprig oregano

1 bay leaf

1 teaspoon red chili flakes

1-2 heads Lacinata kale

1 crusty bread cut into thick slices

optional - either chicken from the stock pulled…. Or grilled chicken breasts or thighs sided… add at the end to warm through   

Parmigiano-Reggiano, grated, for serving

Place the kidney beans in a medium pot, add water to cover by 2-inches and bring to a boil. (If using canned kidney beans, skip this step.) Turn the heat down, let simmer for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until just-tender. Use the same process for the cannellini beans.

In a large soup pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the pancetta, rendering the fat and cooking until slightly crispy about 3 minutes. Saute the onion, celery, carrot and garlic for 3 to 4 minutes. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste. Add the diced tomatoes, the cooked and drained kidney beans, cannellini beans, chick peas, and the chicken stock. Using kitchen twine, tie the herbs and the bay leaf into a bundle and add to the pot. Season with the red chili flakes, salt and pepper. Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, then add the kale. Continue cooking until the beans are completely tender.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Drizzle olive oil over the slices of peasant bread, season with a little salt and pepper and toast in the oven. Serve the soup in large bowls with grated Parmesan and a slice of toast.

 

Awesome appreciate it! I will let you know when she makes it but sounds good. 

[Caveira]

6 minutes ago, Doublehalf said:

Awesome appreciate it! I will let you know when she makes it but sounds good. 

The baked bread w/oil really makes it.  That and tons of good good real Parmesan reggiano ..not that Kraft crapola.   
 

edit.  Crusty rustic bread is the best.  

Edited 19 hours ago by Caveira

[Undefeated]

Failed attempt by Islamic Republic Navy commandos to break a pot - right in front of their army commanders.
(Clip’s from like 10 years ago)

 

[El Luchador]

WTF are those made of? 

[Undefeated]

11 minutes ago, El Luchador said:

WTF are those made of? 

People have been trying to find the maker of that pot for like 10 years now - both to thank them for embarrassing these clowns and to buy a few pots from them!

[Undefeated]

Those pots are actually made of clay.

[WrestlingRasta]

Kale supports things like bone health, good for the blood and preventing heart disease, anti cancer elements, vitamin c and immunity elements. Not something that tastes great by itself but great in salads, good with a nice chunk of Barrata and some balsamic vinegar. Throw in a blender with some watermelon, cucumber, lemon, ginger…..nice tasting super smoothie.  
 

I mean, I wouldn’t make it as much a priority as nice New York strip and a couple free range eggs.  But it’s good stuff. 

[ionel]

2 hours ago, Offthemat said:

Nobody’ll beat you up for it?

 

2 hours ago, Doublehalf said:

Considered a "super food" because of the nutrients/vitamins in it

If my calculations are correct I would've needed 150 cups of kale to survive today.  Can you imagine ... we didn't tame the west, win WWII or fly to the moon on freeze dried kale.  

[ionel]

3 minutes ago, WrestlingRasta said:

Kale supports things like bone health, good for the blood and preventing heart disease, anti cancer elements, vitamin c and immunity elements. Not something that tastes great by itself but great in salads, good with a nice chunk of Barrata and some balsamic vinegar. Throw in a blender with some watermelon, cucumber, lemon, ginger…..nice tasting super smoothie.  
 

I mean, I wouldn’t make it as much a priority as nice New York strip and a couple free range eggs.  But it’s good stuff. 

Have you ever had Kale Beer?  Why or why not?

[WrestlingRasta]

23 minutes ago, ionel said:

Have you ever had Kale Beer?  Why or why not?

Can’t say I’ve even heard of it actually. 

[ionel]

2 minutes ago, WrestlingRasta said:

Can’t say I’ve even heard of it actually. 

There's a reason for that. 

[WrestlingRasta]

1 minute ago, ionel said:

There's a reason for that. 

I googled and the first thing that came up was from the Whistle Buoy Brewing Co, and was called Hazy Kale Ale with Anchovy.  I didn’t see any reason to continue scrolling…

[Caveira]

Ha.  Ai Trump 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8kCh3o7/

 

[El Luchador]