We will have an Estate Planning Lawyer and a Human Rights Activist on our Podcast about ILLINOIS/PSU because the ILLINI will kill them

[ILLINIWrestlingBlog]

Hear me out. 

It all makes perfect sense, starting with a win by Lucas Byrd. As has been stated by none other than Peter Griffin, Byrd is the Wyrd, and the Wyrd is Byrd. Then, sometime later in the dual, Carl will duck at least one wrestler, just like he ducks the National Duals every year. 

 

 

According to statistics being suppressed by the deep state and @Wrestleknownothing, Beau Bartlett has won or lost 114% of his matches by three points or less. That is exactly the type of opponent that Danny Pucino upsets. He has used different exotic moves to beat AAs like Cole Matthews (misdirect ankle dive), Vance Vombauer (inside trip) and Dylan D'Emilio (I forgot but it was fun-KEY). 

There's actually a word for it: "PUCINO'D." 

To make matters worse for Beau and his dashing Princess Bride mustache, he has to wrestle Jesse Mendez two days before facing the Irish Italian Turbo Leprechaun from ILLINOIS. This may turn out to be the worst weekend of his life. Single tear. 

Kannon Webster is a huge 149 pounder, and he's struggled a little this season with the Food Monster, but he's now acclimatized. That's bad news for Shayne Van Ness, a guy who has somehow managed to misspell his own first and last names. HOW DO YOU MISSPELL YOUR OWN NAME?

He does it twice. 

The Nittany Lion will have to face Dylan D'Emilio on Friday and two days later, Kannon Webster. Van Ness has been majored less than a month ago. This match will not go well for him. 

At 157, I'll let this graph speak for me:

 

This match is still two weeks away, so this is only volume one of my proofs. Things can change between now and then, but Wrestlestat.com has Techenbrink only getting a decision against Braeden Scoles. (It was a major two days ago). What will it be in two weeks? And, Stallrocci lost to Donnell Washington, somebody who is 0-2 against Edmond Ruthless.

I'll save the rest for another day. 

[Wrestleknownothing]

I have no notes

[MLB9]

Sounds like a toss up and some maulings, 40-something to three final score maybe? At best for Illinois?

[666]

I'm convinced. Illini cruise over PSU, 54-3

[MPhillips]

1 hour ago, ILLINIWrestlingBlog said:

Princess Bride mustache

"Prepare to die."

[PortaJohn]

I know @Wrestleknownothing will be extremely offended and jealous by this statement but most agree @ILLINIWrestlingBlog is the next Sir Ronald Fisher

[Mr. PeanutButter]

I like the energy. Unfortunately, I'm all tapped out on effusive over the top prediction energy but I find myself nodding my head to some of what you're putting down 

[dragit]

Sadly, the Illini have now lost the element of surprise due to this bulletin board material of a post and can probably only win 16-15.