ILLINIWrestlingBlog

You are not a careful observer. You are, in fact, the old man in a loose and negligently-tied bathrobe who greets the Girl Scout selling cookies at the door of defective conclusions. In our preview of the dual, we concluded: The ILLINI will be underdogs in this match. We think it will take something similar to what UNI did to Nebraska in their recent dual meet. There, the Panther train won all the close matches. Obviously, that didn't happen. Yes, the ILLINI got swamped in this one. Congratulations to Iowa for losing two matches, getting a major upset, and winning two other matches by one point, while the ILLINI 125er just had surgery on his neck, and while the Hawkeyes won two more matches that were basically decided by a takedown. At least we got a banger video out of all of this:

RADIUS (2017) Here I continue my journey through the 100 best free movies on YouTube according to Rotten Tomatoes. Radius is #66 in the top 100, and it is supposed to be a Sci-Fi thriller that is also part mystery. It has a 93% critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis provides: "When he wakes up after a car accident and doesn't have a memory, a man makes his way into town to look for help. As he heads to town to look for help, he discovers dead bodies that have strange pale eyes." This movie was awful stinky garbage trash. The Science Fiction was stupid and pointless except as a plot device for a cringe plot. The acting was horrible. The pace was a crawl, and the special effects were worse than or equal to the special effects that I personally apply to a two-minute video about ILLINI heavyweight wrestler Luke Luffman. The only mystery offered by this movie is how the **** it received a positive recommendation from 93% of the film critics who reviewed it. I was so stunned by the awfulness of it — I felt so scammed by it — that I was determined to solve this mystery. I believe that I did. The first clue was in the movie credits. As they roll by, you learn that the movie was made in Canada by Canadians who worked for a Canadian production company. It was filmed entirely in Canada. Moreover, it received a special tax exemption from the Canadian government. The second and final clue came from the critics who reviewed the movie. You actually have to dig a little deeper than the reviews themselves. You see, Canadians look a lot like us, they sound and write like us, but they are not us. They are Canadian. Never forget that. To solve the mystery, you have to go beyond the reviews and google the names of the critics. Approximately 80% of them are citizens of Canada or the UK, which is what I call "Stuck up Canada." The American critics who recommended this pig slop were from Minnesota and Oregon, which are like mini-Canadas without the hockey and good manners. It's sad that these folks would destroy their credibility because of geography, I write, as a writer for the ILLINI Wrestling Blog & Forum & Beyond Plus, but that's the world we live in. My hypocrisy is fine, yours, when it affects me in a negative way, is the worst thing ever!

You are providing a masterclass in the use of adjectives. Bravo!

A chilled mug of Hawkeye tears.

Add your favorite duals here. Heck, you could include this year's ILLINI win over Arizona State. That was a thing of beauty! I will add duals to the thread as well. You could also include most memorable duals. I have a couple of those in my brain that didn't end up with an ILLINI win but were full of excitement in one way or another. To jog your memory, you can go to FightingILLINI.com and find the opponent on the schedule for this year or all the way back to 1998-1999 and look up their history against the Orange and Blue. As an example, this is the history for duals against Missouri. There are both memorable and favorite duals in that history!

A DAY IN HISTORY It is February 12, 2012. You check to see what's playing at the theaters, and it's all trash. The top four movies are Safe House, The Vow, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island and perhaps the most disappointing film ever released, Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace. You put the newspaper down in disgust. There's nothing happening on Snapchat, so you turn on the radio just in time to hear Casey Kasem's American's Top Forty as it runs through the top three in ascending order: Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson and Adele with Set Fire to the Rain. You put a hammer through the radio. It was made for cheap in Korea like your car and The Simpsons. And you try to remember when America made things, and then you remember that America makes great wrestlers, and you'll get to see some of them today as the #6 ILLINI are in the NWCA National Duals Regional Finals. They face #5 Cornell in cold and ugly Ithaca, New York. The dual starts out with that new Freshman sensation Jesse Delgado facing off against All American Frank Perelli of Cornell. Delgado is coming off an upset of #1 Matt McDonough in Iowa City, so you have your fingers crossed. You keep them crossed because this is a Flo stream. And there's the 8-3 win for the Cali Kid! He might turn out to be pretty good some day. At 133, All American BJ Futrell absolutely mauls an Arujau with a tech fall. Things are shaping up. You almost forget that Adele has the #1 song in America and that Jar Jar Binks exists. The team from ILLINOIS needed to win three of the four matches to start off the meet. They do. They needed that because the Big Red (named after chewing gum?) have #1 Kyle Dake, #5 Steve Bosak and #1 Cam Simaz later in their lineup. Jackson Morse actually takes Dake down in that match and the excitement is through the roof! He ends up losing 4-6, but there is no bonus. There is a window of opportunity here. All Americans Conrad Polz and Jordan Blanton win their matches for ILLINOIS at 165 and 174. But now we've hit the real tough stretch of the dual, as #5 Bosak and #1 Cam Simaz are warming up. But Head Coach Jim Heffernan pulls a fast one. He moves up his Sophomore 197-pounder to heavyweight to take on the Cornell Senior. It pays off! Mario Gonzalez wins, and the ILLINI take the dual! #6 Illinois 19, #5 Cornell 16 125 No. 6 Jesse Delgado (ILL) dec. No. 6 Frank Perrelli (COR), 8-3 133 No. 5 BJ Futrell (ILL) tech fall Naryman Arujau (COR), 18-3, 6:08 141 Mike Nevinger (COR) maj. dec. Daryl Thomas (ILL), 9-0 149 No. 17 Eric Terrazas (ILL) dec. Chris Villalonga (COR), 3-1 157 No. 1 Kyle Dake (COR) dec. Jackson Morse (ILL), 6-4 165 No. 9 Conrad Polz (ILL) dec. Marshall Peppelman (COR), 8-3 174 No. 12 Jordan Blanton (ILL) dec. William George (COR), 7-6 184 No. 5 Steve Bosak (COR) dec. Tony Dallago (ILL), 4-0 197 No. 1 Cam Simaz (COR) pinned Martin Smith (ILL), 3:31* HWT No. 14 Mario Gonzalez (ILL) dec. Maciej Jochym (COR), 8-2 -------------------------- This is my second-favorite ILLINI dual of all time. Part of the reason for it is that the win catapulted the Orange and Blue into the National Duals Final Four. Also, it was just a freaking great match. The NWCA National Duals brought excitement to the sport. I would love to see them happen again, and I would suggest that February is the best time. The way to bring back the National Duals is to have teams like ILLINOIS, Missouri, Cornell, Oklahoma State, Arizona State, NC State, Penn, Pitt, Northern Iowa and other highly-ranked teams all show up. Then, the champion gets to parade around for the rest of the year as NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. See how long Professor Carl and the Brandos keep their teams from becoming NATIONAL CHAMPIONS.

A DAY IN HISTORY It is February 12, 2012. You check to see what's playing at the theaters, and it's all trash. The top four movies are Safe House, The Vow, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island and perhaps the most disappointing film ever released, Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace. You put the newspaper down in disgust. There's nothing happening on Snapchat, so you turn on the radio just in time to hear Casey Kasem's American's Top Forty as it runs through the top three in ascending order: Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson and Adele with Set Fire to the Rain. You put a hammer through the radio. It was made for cheap in Korea like your car and The Simpsons. And you try to remember when America made things, and then you remember that America makes great wrestlers, and you'll get to see some of them today as the #6 ILLINI are in the NWCA National Duals Regional Finals. They face #5 Cornell in cold and ugly Ithaca, New York. The dual starts out with that new Freshman sensation Jesse Delgado facing off against All American Frank Perelli of Cornell. Delgado is coming off an upset of #1 Matt McDonough in Iowa City, so you have your fingers crossed. You keep them crossed because this is a Flo stream. And there's the 8-3 win for the Cali Kid! He might turn out to be pretty good some day. At 133, All American BJ Futrell absolutely mauls an Arujau with a tech fall. Things are shaping up. You almost forget that Adele has the #1 song in America and that Jar Jar Binks exists. The team from ILLINOIS needed to win three of the four matches to start off the meet. They do. They needed that because the Big Red (named after chewing gum?) have #1 Kyle Dake, #5 Steve Bosak and #1 Cam Simaz later in their lineup. Jackson Morse actually takes Dake down in that match and the excitement is through the roof! He ends up losing 4-6, but there is no bonus. There is a window of opportunity here. All Americans Conrad Polz and Jordan Blanton win their matches for ILLINOIS at 165 and 174. But now we've hit the real tough stretch of the dual, as #5 Bosak and #1 Cam Simaz are warming up. But Head Coach Jim Heffernan pulls a fast one. He moves up his Sophomore 197-pounder to heavyweight to take on the Cornell Senior. It pays off! Mario Gonzalez wins, and the ILLINI take the dual! #6 Illinois 19, #5 Cornell 16 125 No. 6 Jesse Delgado (ILL) dec. No. 6 Frank Perrelli (COR), 8-3 133 No. 5 BJ Futrell (ILL) tech fall Naryman Arujau (COR), 18-3, 6:08 141 Mike Nevinger (COR) maj. dec. Daryl Thomas (ILL), 9-0 149 No. 17 Eric Terrazas (ILL) dec. Chris Villalonga (COR), 3-1 157 No. 1 Kyle Dake (COR) dec. Jackson Morse (ILL), 6-4 165 No. 9 Conrad Polz (ILL) dec. Marshall Peppelman (COR), 8-3 174 No. 12 Jordan Blanton (ILL) dec. William George (COR), 7-6 184 No. 5 Steve Bosak (COR) dec. Tony Dallago (ILL), 4-0 197 No. 1 Cam Simaz (COR) pinned Martin Smith (ILL), 3:31* HWT No. 14 Mario Gonzalez (ILL) dec. Maciej Jochym (COR), 8-2 -------------------------- This is my second-favorite ILLINI dual of all time. Part of the reason for it is that the win catapulted the Orange and Blue into the National Duals Final Four. Also, it was just a freaking great match. The NWCA National Duals brought excitement to the sport. I would love to see them happen again, and I would suggest that February is the best time. The way to bring back the National Duals is to have teams like ILLINOIS, Missouri, Cornell, Oklahoma State, Arizona State, NC State, Penn, Pitt, Northern Iowa and other highly-ranked teams all show up. Then, the champion gets to parade around for the rest of the year as NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. See how long Professor Carl and the Brandos keep their teams from becoming NATIONAL CHAMPIONS.

Vincent Robinson and Kannon Webster had battles in high school. They crossed paths at a lot of tournaments. Now, we've seen Webster gain weight (and especially height) and Robinson wrestle smaller. I'm actually pretty shocked at what Vincent is doing, and not because he doesn't have talent, he's got loads of that. It just seemed that in every big match he got hurt. Whether it was real or just a lung timeout, I don't know. He had the knee pads, braces or something. I've faked injury in the past to get a sweet lung timeout, so I'm not calling him out for that. Do what you gotta do. He's obviously sorted everything out in his head, and if that's the case, he's gonna be dynamite. Cheers!

ILLINOIS VERSUS IOWA WHAT: ILLINI Wrestling Dual Against Stupid Iowa WHEN: Friday, January 17 at 6:00 pm Central WHERE: Stupid Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Stupid Iowa City TV/STREAMING: BTN A DAY IN HISTORY It is January 28, 2005. This is possibly the worst weekend in movie history as the top two at the box office are Hide and Seek and Are We There Yet? It's not much better on the radio with two top ten songs by Destiny's Child, Mario holding down the #1 spot and Nelly featuring Tim McGraw in the top ten. You've just thrown your boombox off the top of Starved Rock State Park into the ILLINOIS River. Your little Sister wants you to play the new Bratz video game that features the Bratz dolls traveling to London where they form a Spice-Girls-like band. You play for five minutes. And now you've just thrown the video game and your sister's Game Boy Advance over the cliff at Starved Rock State Park. You're finally on the road to Huff Hall. Surely, your day can't get any worse. Right? Gulp, the ILLINI have to face the #9 Iowa Hawkeyes in a home dual! Luckily, ILLINOIS is ranked #2 in the nation. It's a medieval thrashing. The Hawkeyes manage to win only two matches, and it is the kind of battle that poets will write about and scholars discuss for centuries. Here is a link to the official recap at FightingILLINI.com, and here's the box score: University of Illinois vs. University of Iowa Friday, January 28, 2005 Attendance: 3,573 (school record) 149: #16 Anton Dietzen dec. #5 Ty Eustice (Iowa), 3-2 3-0 157: #2 Alex Tirapelle dec. #7 Joe Johnston (Iowa), 7-5 6-0 165: #4 Mark Perry (Iowa) maj. dec. Cal Ferry (ILL), 12-2 6-4 174: #5 Pete Friedl (ILL) dec. Luke Lofthouse (Iowa), 12-5 9-4 184: #3 Brian Glynn (ILL) dec. #5 Paul Bradley (Iowa), 2-1 12-4 197: #13 Tyrone Byrd (ILL) dec. Adam Fellers (Iowa), 3-0 15-4 Hwt: #7 Matt Fields (Iowa) dec. #14 Mike Behnke (ILL), 6-3 15-7 125: #2 Kyle Ott (ILL) maj. dec. Charlie Falck (Iowa), 14-6 19-7 133: #4 Mark Jayne (ILL) dec. #14 Mario Galanakis (Iowa), 7-5 22-7 141: Cassio Pero (ILL) dec. #11 Alex Tsirtsis (Iowa), 4-3 25-7 THE TEAMS Legendary ILLINOIS basketball coach Lou Henson had a theory that every season his teams would have one magical game, one grotesquerie and the rest would be somewhere around the median. The ILLINI wrestling team has rid itself of its grotesquerie against Ohio State, but it can still have it's magical match. The Orange and Blue have a fantastic 7-1 record heading into the road dual against Iowa. That record includes wins over SIUE (41-3), Binghamton (30-10), Arizona State (37-6), Missouri (23-14), North Carolina (24-14), Indiana (34-3) and Northwestern (33-7). The loss was to Ohio State (9-24). Iowa has a 7-0 dual record with wins over Oregon State (30-7), Standford (32-9), Bellarmine (49-0), Iowa State (21-15), Princeton (39-3), Army (23-16) and Wisconsin (45-0). THE INDIVIDUAL MATCHUPS The Wrestlestat.com algorithm is predicting a 22-11 win for the bad guys, but they've got Byrd losing and Kannon winning. Hmmm. They also have the Hawkeyes winning four (4) one-point matches! I guess we'll see about that. 125. A little over a year ago, #173 CAELAN RILEY wrestled #47 Joey Cruz at the Lindenwood Open. It was a 16-2 major decision for the Hawkeye. Wrestlestat.com is going with a regular decision (4-10) here. We'd take that. 133. We should all be able to agree that an 11-0 record is much, much better than a 10-1 record, right? Right? Wrestlestat.com, are you with us? Of course not. They have their #2 wrestler, Drake Ayala, beating their undefeated #3 LUCAS BYRD. You can bet that Byrd is the Wyrd will be sky high for this one in Carver-Hawkeye. The last time he showed up for a business trip in Iowa City it resulted in a devastating pinfall. 141. At least Wrestlestat.com has #19 DANNY PUCINO beating #60 Jace Rhodes by four points. Rhodes has a 5-2 record this season but a 13-11 career mark. He wrestled 133 last year, and, in fact, you could see #98 Ryder Block with his 2-2 record or #54 (at 133) Cullan Schriever. Schriever started out the season wrestling two duals at 141, then Block took over for four duals, and, finally, Rhodes wrestled in the last one. At the last dual in Carver-Hawkeye, it was the Irish Italian Cyborg Leprechaun and his inexhaustible gas tank that left with the major decision. 149. Wrestlestat.com has a one-point loss for #2 Kyle Parco against the ILLINI's #12 KANNON WEBSTER. The 4x AA Hawkeye has an 11-0 mark this year and 114 wins in his career. He has 20 losses, and we sure hope that it is Kannon who adds number 21. But Webster has been through a rough patch. Has that been due to cold and flu season, or is it a case of moderate to severe food shortage? He is very tall and big for a 149er. Still, even at 60%, he was a load for an AA like Dylan D'Emilio to beat. 157. For some reason, Wrestlestat.com has #122 Isaiah Fenton getting the start in the dual even though he's 1-2 on the season, 3-8 in his career, and hasn't been featured in an Iowa dual. The algorithm has #33 JASON "CARDIAC" KRAISSER putting a tech on him. We think that Brando will probably bump up #28 Caleb Rathjen, one of the Voinovich brothers or #114 Miguel Estrada here. Given all of the one-point matches projected for this dual, as well as the likelihood of a Byrd win, we don't think Brando will want to hand over the five or six team points. 165. This is going to be a very interesting match, as #2 Michael Caliendo will face off against a young gun with a similar style. Will the torch get passed or will cagey veteran experience and old-man strength prevail? The young gun here is #20 BRAEDEN SCOLES, and the answer to the above question is very much in doubt if you go by Wrestlestat.com. They're predicting another one-point win for stupid Iowa. Caliendo will have another year of eligibility, so this could be a very entertaining start to a new rivalry. 174. It is beneath us to mention a person's looks or physical appearance unless, of course, we think it is attractive. You see, #4 Patrick Kennedy obviously has a large brain because of the size of his head. That's quite something! Very admirable. In fact, we think that his cabeza would tower over a standard microwave oven even if you flipped it over onto its end. As for his opponent, #29 DANNY BRAUNAGEL has had a hit or miss season. Some very sunny days, but some gloomy ones as well. Kennedy and that big juicy brain of his is steaming right along at 7-0 on the season, and he seems to have won the spot for the Hawks. But will nepotism play a role? (Nelson Brands). Or, perhaps a desire to quiet the Jersey Mafia? (Angelo Ferrari). Both the Brawlnagel and Kennedy are tough and will be in excellent condition. The Iowa kid does have a major decision over little Brawny in the past, although that sounds like it must've been when the ILLINI was injured. Wrestlestat is predicting a 12-5 win for the Hawk. This could be a one-takedown match either way. 184. This is another match that the algorithm is predicting a one-point victory for the bad guys. #7 Gabe Arnold has a 9-0 season and 17-1 career record. He will face All American and #14 EDMOND RUTH. If the dual is close at this point, does Brando want to use his redshirt Freshman to bull forward against the experienced AA who is waiting for him with double underhooks? Or, will Brando go with his son, who's had some success (and a loss) against Ruth? Perhaps he'll want a Ferrari to shoot from distance? The last time he was in Carver-Hawkeye arena Edmond Ruth was seen leaving with his hand raised. 197. If you are looking to see the range of body types at this weight, this is the match you want to watch. The big feller for Iowa is #1 Stephen Buchanan. His opponent from the ILLINI'll be #16 ZAC BRAUNAGEL, and Zac has had success against the man-mountains before. He beat Michael Beard in the NCAA tournament, beat Braxton Amos to win a Midlands crown, and he beat Yonger Bastida in the dual. Even in losses to folks like Jacob Cardenas and Nino Bonaccorsi, they have been sudden victory or within a point or two. Perhaps that's why this is predicted to be another one of those one-point matches favoring stupid Iowa. Finally, we can't forget that the last time in that arena Zac rode out of Iowa City as the gunslinger who had just shot down Jacob Warnerov. 285. Again, we have to ask, which is the better ranking #14 or #18? Not only does Wrestlestat.com give #18 Ben Kueter a predicted win ... but by major decision! #14 LUUUUKE LUFFMAN will not have it! For the first time in his life, he will be wrestling in an ILLINOIS - Iowa dual without having to face Tony Cassioppi. He's sure to take advantage of that. This season, Luffman has faced three top ten wrestlers and lost twice. So far, Kueter has only faced one top ten wrestler and lost to him. That top ten wrestler was Yonger Bastida, and even the ILLINOIS 197 pounder can beat him! CONCLUSION The ILLINI will be underdogs in this match. We think it will take something similar to what UNI did to Nebraska in their recent dual meet. There, the Panther train won all the close matches. And in this dual, at least if you have any faith in Wrestlestat.com, there will be a ton of one-point matches. So, can we expect a magical outcome? Sure, we're counting on it! Much more at this link.

You have created, entered and won your own caption contest. Congratulations! Also a great picture. I saw that going on during the broadcast intermission. Looks like a tough sport. Cheers!

Did he mean it literally or figuratively?

A really good wrestler might have a true highlight takedown once every three matches. In the Big Ten, it might be once every four. So many single scrambles and go behinds and shrug-bys. Great for winning, but pretty ho-hum if you ask me. With Edmond Ruth, you are almost guaranteed a highlight reel takedown every single match, even against the best competition. Quality over quantity.

Mack is real good, and between him and his partner, they can be very funny. Bonus. When you think about it many TV announcers can't be experts on the topic that comes up. Breaking news is an example. The nuances of riding time are another. Still, the Big Ten conference should be there to do what they can to make sure their announcers succeed. For as little as $40k, the conference can bring in our team to prepare their announcers for most eventualities, especially if those eventualities have anything to do with strippers, bar fights and Ric Flair.

I'm going to the backpages here to whine and complain. Based upon watching Kannon Webster in high school, college and during the Summer, I know two things about that young lion's wrestling: (1) He is constant motion, and (2) he's an expert at chain wrestling. There was none of that last night. Ergo, I think there's a cold or flu reason for that result. Since he is great friends and probably practice partners with Braeden Scoles, that could explain his match as well. However, Scoles, like Big Brawny, needs to defend his legs better in the first period. They both have given up pretty inexplicable first-period takedowns on multiple occasions. They have been able to always come back and win, but that didn't happen against the Evil Empire yesterday.

Seriously, I think having student broadcasters is one of the few things that harkens back to the amateur roots of collegiate sports. The idea was fantastic, and although there have been a few painful moments in practice, I think it's a great idea in theory, and it at least gives some credence to a university's mission of educating their students. Schools offer TV and broadcasting degrees, right?

There's an easy solution to this problem. The Big Ten and any other conference with student announcers should hire Brian "Voice of the ILLINI" Swaw and me before the season starts to run a webinar on matside broadcasting: "The A to Z of Play by Play and Color Announcing for College Wrestling." We would charge our usual speaker fee of $20k each, and put together and run a two-hour course. The first hour would be about the "Play Jar" and the "Game Jar." If you say the word "play" or any of its derivatives (i.e. player, playing, played, etc), you have to put $50 in the Play Jar. At the end of the season, that money goes to the schools RTC program. Same goes for the word "game." The second hour would be me telling stories about strippers and bar fights and Brian doing his Rick Flair impersonation and telling dad jokes.

The ILLINI looked like crap. Way too passive. Then, when they were aggressive a little too late, it was a wild shot that was easily defended and reattacked. Brian Swaw with a fantastic job on the mic, except Byrd did not lose to Bouzakis last year. Lucas didn't wrestle last year. You can hear his ESPN radio experience and wrestling background come through. Besides Byrd, Kraisser and Ruth, the best part of the match was his announcing. His partner kind of let me down, though, with a "game," a "play" and a "player." I should note that he immediately corrected "player" to "wrestler," but I heard what I heard. Then, the graphics kid couldn't keep the right score on the BTN+ scoreboard. You can tell that the ILLINI had a bad night because I'm talking about the announcing and the graphics. Congratulations to the stupid Buckeyes. They looked really good.

You can't tell how a Jason Kraisser match is going to end until after the sixth scramble.

There's a social media post that popped up today advertising the dual showing Peter Marinopoulos. Is he going heavy? Don't want to start a Mineo-like rumor. He's gonna be good one day, but he's not Luffman. Good luck tonight ... on the gridiron.

They will be watching a football game. Only the Buckeye wrestling moms will show up.

LOL! This Sunday it is The Brando and Brando Show, and you don't want to eat that. I love how Mphillips uses the quotation marks for the "upset" win at 133. The thing is, if this match doesn't go to Hoyle, and it turns into a UNI-trouncing-Nebraska-like match, either team could pull away. So excite!

Yes, that was him.

THE WARRIORS (1979) You don’t become a man until you’ve watched this movie. It comes in at #29 on the list of best free YouTube movies on Rotten Tomatoes with twin 88% ratings on their Tomatometer (critics) and Popcornmeter (audiences). And yet, the acting is so wooden that it almost reaches Billy Jack levels. Keanu Reeves has more theatrical ability in his thumbs than the entire Warriors cast. But I would argue that the acting is perfect. These are older teens who want to be men, and all they know is to act tough. Emotion and fear and sorrow and longing are not allowed. We’re not watching this movie for character development, we don’t care if the characters experience growth. Inner conflict and backstory are for thespians. We’re watching this movie to see if the Warriors make it out alive. Here Be Spoilers. The film is basically one long chase scene. There’s a gang from Coney Island named the Warriors who attend a massive conclave of the important New York City street gangs. When the leader of the largest gang gets assassinated at the meeting, the Warriors are framed for it, and that sets every outfit in the five boroughs after them. The thrill of the movie is watching how they fight or evade these other gangs and the police as they try to get back to their home turf in Coney Island. It’s exciting to watch the Baseball Furies, a rival gang, sprinting after the Warriors down the dark trash-strewn streets of New York while wielding baseball bats and wearing makeup and pinstripe Yankee uniforms. That’s ******* awesome. The movie races along like a first-person shooter, and it has a perfect soundtrack that is half gritty video game and half horror movie. The song by Joe Walsh at the end is transcendent and fits the movie perfectly. It was later included in the Eagles album The Long Run, which reached 7xplatinum. There’s a section in the middle of the movie, which, if it was in a song, would be the guitar solo, but I call it “Woman Trouble.” The Warriors all have to deal with a woman or women trying to kill, arrest or love them. Like I said, woman trouble. There’s also prolific use of the “F” word. No, not that one. The other one. I would argue that The Warriors was a cultural phenomenon that didn’t just result in a cult classic. The movie caused a stir as newspapers reported rival gangs fighting each other in and around theaters while it was playing. Additionally, it deserves some credit for the fighter arcade games that soon appeared. Sure, most of that credit goes to Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and others, but give some of that glory to the gang from Coney Island. An actual Warriors video game finally reached PlayStation 2 in 2005, and it was rereleased for PlayStations 3 and 4. When it came out in 1979, Roger Ebert gave The Warriors a thumb’s down and only two out of four stars. He wrote, “It’s a ballet of stylized male violence.” Like I said, ******* awesome. Gene Siskel threatened to put the film on his ten worst list. From their TV review, you can guess that both Siskel and Ebert hated wrestling back in high school gym class. Why? Because wrestling is a ballet of stylized male violence. Me? I like it, and The Warriors, a lot. The last ten minutes of the movie are truly epic. It makes you want to find an alley and rough up a few of those Jones Street Boys. The dirty mugs! There’s also a meme that has stood the test of time: “Warriors, come out and play-e-ay. Warriors, come out and PLAY-E-AYYYY!” That line has been featured on The Simpsons and sampled on rap and hip hop tracks. And finally you have the lyrics from that incredible Joe Walsh song: I was born here in the city, With my back against the wall, Nothing grows here, life ain’t very pretty, No one’s there to catch you when you fall. Watch it for free. You’ve heard “you’ll thank me later” a thousand times before from your drug dealer, your cousin from Boston with the hot stock tip and even the faded sports star who wants you to get a boner with his special pill, but this time it’s really true: