Undefeated

Why’s bacon such a thing? You think Iranians eating ham would fix your problems? That’s what I mean by racists being out of touch - people dream of Mars and you’re stuck on pig butts!

Ah, I thought you were spelling Khamenei with an American accent! Khamenei Hamaney ----------- Khamenei’s pizza… probably nobody would order that.

Hamaney. Who's that?

Because of the bacon?

Wow, interesting! What language do they speak there?

And now look at you, chasing after a bunch of religious politicians. Eventually, they'll get their hands on Marlboros too, and start producing them according to some verse in the Torah or Bible. At that point, after every puff, we'll have to spray some perfume so it doesn’t smell like donkey poop.

The price kinda depends on the brand. I smoke Marlboro Reds, which are about $3 a pack right now - no telling what it'll be tomorrow, prices go up every day. But there are plenty of cheaper smokes too. Iran makes a few local brands that are cheap, though who knows what they put in them - might be all sorts of weird stuff, maybe even poop. Honestly, with religious folks getting into politics, anything’s possible - they could put donkey poop in a pack and say some verse in the Quran promises heaven to whoever smokes it!

Had no idea, but just googled it - looks like the Caribbean islands?

Nothing’s coming to mind right now. I’m out of smokes, and it’s like 1:30 a.m. here in Iran. If I go out to buy some, I might run into gangsters, and then I wouldn’t be able to come back here for you and Jimmy to explain the perks of a flush toilet to me. So, you tell me - why did Columbus think it was necessary?

5. The Voyage, 1492. Columbus left Spain in August, 1492, and,refitting at the Canaries, sailed westward into the Sea of Darkness. At ten o'clock in the evening of October 20, 1492, looking out into the night, he saw a light in the distance. The fleet was soon stopped. When day broke, there, sure enough, was land. A boat was lowered, and Columbus, going ashore, took possession of the new land for Ferdinand and Isabella, King and Queen of Aragon and Castile. The natives came to see the discoverers. They were reddish in color and interested Columbus--for were they not inhabitants of the Far East? So he called them Indians.

4. Columbus. Meantime Christopher Columbus, an Italian, had returned from an even more startling voyage. From what he had read, and from what other men had told him, he had come to believe that the earth was round. If this were really true, Cipango and Cathay were west of Europe as well as east of Europe. Columbus also believed that the earth was very much smaller than it really is, and that Cipango was only three thousand miles west of Spain. For a time people laughed at the idea of sailing westward to Cipango and Cathay. But at length Columbus secured enough money to fit out a little fleet.

Wow, look at that - a racist who can’t stand another racist, ! Come on, don’t be jealous of each other. So he insulted Black people, and you insult Middle Easterners. Share the territory already, no need to fight!

Haha, alright man. So you’re saying I went digging through American history books just to find one that confirms my bias? That’s beyond conspiracy theory territory. The reason I picked that particular book to quote in this forum is simple: it was written over a hundred years ago, and under current U.S. copyright law, it’s considered public domain - so I could legally share its text here. I chose it to make sure the website admin wouldn’t get in trouble; otherwise, I wouldn’t even know what was in it. By the way, the author is also American, and you can read about him here: (link)

It’s all clearly written there: the book says missionaries were sent to Asia, and in return silk, spices, gold, and silver were brought back to Europe. That’s not my claim - it’s literally what the book says. If your eyes can’t see it, go sit on one of those European toilets for a while - maybe then your eyes will open.

3. Early Portuguese Sailors. One way to the East seemed to be around the southern end of Africa if it should turn out that there was a southern end to that Dark Continent. In 1487 Portuguese seamen sailed around the southern end of Africa and, returning home, called that point the Cape of Storms. But the King of Portugal thought that now there was good hope of reaching India by sea. So he changed the name to Cape of Good Hope. Ten years later a brave Portuguese sailor, Vasco da Gama, actually reached India by the Cape of Good Hope, and returned safely to Portugal (1497).

Man, those Europeans were real slick. They’d send missionaries to Asia, and in return haul back silk, spices, gold, and silver - like, seriously, missionaries in exchange for spices?! So why not missionaries for Buddhist monks or Mullahs?

2. Early European Travelers. The people of Europe knew more of the lands of Asia than they knew of Vinland. For hundreds of years missionaries, traders, and travelers visited the Far East. They brought back to Europe silks and spices, and ornaments of gold and of silver. They told marvelous tales of rich lands and great princes. One of these travelers was a Venetian named Marco Polo. He told of Cathay or China and of Cipango or Japan. This last country was an island. Its king was so rich that even the floors of his palaces were of pure gold. Suddenly the Turks conquered the lands between Europe and the golden East. They put an end to this trading and traveling. New ways to India, China, and Japan must be found.

Good one. Lemme smoke a cigarette and see if I can crack this mystery.

Nah. Most likely they just asked Leif’s mom what color Eric was.

And how do we know Leif was the son of Eric the Red, not Eric the Blue?

A Short History of the United States for School Use by Edward Channing (Text, Audio). ------------------------------------- CHAPTER I THE EUROPEAN DISCOVERY OF AMERICA ------------------------------------- 1. Leif Ericson discovers America, 1000. In our early childhood many of us learned to repeat the lines: Columbus sailed the ocean blue In fourteen hundred, ninety-two. We thought that he was the first European to visit America. But nearly five hundred years before his time Leif Ericson had discovered the New World. He was a Northman and the son of Eric the Red. Eric had already founded a colony in Greenland, and Leif sailed from Norway to make him a visit. This was in the year 1000. Day after day Leif and his men were tossed about on the sea until they reached an unknown land where they found many grape-vines. They called it Vinland or Wineland. They Then sailed northward and reached Greenland in safety. Precisely where Vinland was is not known. But it certainly was part of North America. Leif Ericson, the Northman, was therefore the real discoverer of America.

As long as there are minions like you, we don’t have to bother pulling Buddhists off their yoga mats.

Well, that whole death penalty idea for Netanyahu and the army isn’t really realistic - they’ve got the backing of the U.S. and powerful European countries. But what’s coming next? Pretty soon, Trump will step in as the 'savior' of the Gaza people, playing out the Zionists’ plan to push Gazans out. Israel gets what it wants, starts building settlements in Gaza for Israelis, Trump strikes his hero pose in front of the cameras claiming he solved the Gaza crisis, and the Gazans are relocated to areas already set up by the U.S. and Israel - maybe even some shipped off to Jordan and neighboring countries.

No worries - at least now you know Chomsky. Next time you wanna play political science expert, try quoting him. Don’t worry, we won’t make fun of you… too much.