Jagger's Friday Mailbag - 5/3/2024

“And May is one damned fine month to be working outdoors” 

That’s what Red says in Shawshank Redemption while he and the boys secure the roof job and he couldn’t be more correct. Unfortunately, it’s not a great month for wrestling competitions. Well, except for that thing going on in Turkey next week which might have some important ramifications going forward. And that’s fine. We don’t need to be wrestling right now. We have baseball and horse racing. Basketball and hockey playoffs. Communions and proms for some. We have lawns to mow and grills to fire up. We have garages that need cleaning and roofs that need tarring. Eh, who am I fooling here? I’ll fire up five screens tomorrow and drink lemonade in the air conditioning if you give me a tournament with an alliterative name. Sunshine is overrated. So is Shawshank Redemption. Just kidding, don’t cancel me. Let’s move on to the questions so you can get to all those things I just mentioned. 

You can't choose the Senior level. What is your favorite age group to watch after that? The Jerm 

I guess I have to go with what is formerly called Juniors over the division formerly known as Cadets. I enjoy the mix of upperclassmen high school guys mixing it up with first and second-year college guys. We just had Aden Valencia face Sergio Lemley, who recently beat Real Woods, who once faced Luke Pletcher, who faced Jimmy Gulibon. That’s Valencia to Gulibon in like four moves. All thanks to the U20 US Open. Pletcher also faced Colton McCrystal, who wrestled Logan Stieber at least once. We could go on and on but someone is asking about Kyle Schwarber who is teammates with JT Realmuto who wrestled in fifth grade I think. 

I have two questions…Do you think Kyle Schwarber will have more or less than 100 runs this season? How many RBIs do you think he’ll have? Kevin McGuigan. 

I was hoping someone would ask me about the Schwarbs. I predict the big man will have a triple hundo this year. Over 100 runs and runs batted in with a batting average somewhere between .190 and .196 - with probably a good 45 bombs. 

Speaking of Schwarbs and bombs, the great Earl B. Smith once went to a Nats game and purchased a shirt that said Schwarb Bombs on it just to watch him get hurt that night. By the time Schwarber was healthy, he was leading off for Boston before signing with the Phillies. I hear he’s saving it for “Bozo Shirt-A-Day in June.” 

Editor’s Note: I bought the overpriced Schwarber shirt in the team store only to watch him injure his hamstring and never play for the Nationals again. A horrific rainstorm canceled the game in the fourth inning. My wife told me to run ahead of her to get a seat at a local restaurant as the entire stadium was leaving at once. After sitting down, I realized I didn’t have my wallet - neither did my wife. It must have fallen out of the bottom pocket of my cargo shorts as I was sprinting. I snuck back into the stadium, and looked around our seats to no avail. I was directed to customer service where my wallet was waiting. Someone had turned it in. All of the cash and cards were left intact (though soaked). The Schwarber shirt has very weird karma - I’m not sure why I still have it, though I’d gladly give it to a Phillies fan and let them take their chances with it.  

You’re stranded on an island for 11 days. Which d1 coach, head, or assistant, would you want to be stranded with? Madison Hollenbeck

Likely someone from the John Smith coaching tree. They seem to enjoy the whole “Country Boy Can Survive” gimmick. Or maybe Scott Green. We can bring a radio and die together listening to the Mets. 

Favorite pick of the first round and why was it Drake Maye? Mark Rhino 

Obviously, it was Drake Maye! Have I heard of him before last week? Not at all. But we all want New England to get a franchise quarterback who can play for 25 years and win about nine titles. Little baby Rhino gets cranky when he doesn’t get his Super Bowl titles. We can’t have this. 

What is your strategy for wrestling shirt a day in May? Mickadelphia 

Just to get dressed before I leave the house in the morning. It’s a simple and effective strategy.