Friday With Coach Green

No questions this week.........

Did we really exhaust all conversation?  

Anyway, here is something I wrote a few years back just in case you thought you were getting away with not reading something from me for your Friday  Enjoy it and enjoy the long weekend!

https://www.rokfin.com/article/7237/Three-Things-Coaches-Do-That-Destroy-Trust

I once observe an adult address a group of teenage boys who they suspected of committing a minor offense. The response was one of the worst I have ever seen. It included a thorough tongue lashing, in front of the boys peers. The adult's own children were present as well. Some of the highlights of the loud, public berating were " you guys are low character" and "I hope my kids don't grow up to be like you guys."

I include this story because it pretty much violates all the rules. I'd love to tell you it is an extreme example, but I think we've all seen coaches and other "grownups" engage in similar behaviors.  

I can't think of an in-service training or coach's clinic that didn't sing the praises of trust and relationship building. Do you know why? Because it is important.

Here are three roadblocks to getting where you want to be in those areas

1- Creating power struggles. You have to give a kid an out. A pathway to save face and still feel valued, despite their transgression. A way back. The adult in the above scenario didn't do that. They made it about who was in charge and who had the authority. That MIGHT get you compliance. But it won't get you trust.

2- It's not about you. Again- major mistake by the adult above. It became about them. Their kids. Their emotions. Another buzz word floating around is "kid centric". It is about them. If your team is functioning well, you shouldn't have to point out what kid centric things you are doing, because it should be the default. One of my coworkers this fall said it best to our team. "We are busy, but our day stops if you need us."  

3- You buy into kids before kids will buy into you. You gotta meet them where they are and bring them to where you want them to be. It's the only way to earn genuine trust. Again, compliance is NOT trust.

One easy test I always mention comes from the movie "Dead Poets Society". It's pretty simple. Everyone who watches it roots for the Robin Williams character. But think of the last 5 decisions you have made regarding kids' lives. Do they line up with John Keatings character? Or the school? You'll have your answer.  

I'll quit working with kids when I find myself rooting for the administration while watching that flick.