2020 Olympic champion David Taylor (photo courtesy of Tony Rotundo; WrestlersAreWarriors.com)
Welcome to another edition of the Jagger Friday Mailbag. As we approach Labor Day weekend it sort of feels like the proverbial calm before the storm as the action starts to heat up next weekend. And what a way to kick off the fall season of wrestling. We start off with Who's Number One on early Friday evening and go straight into a week's worth of the Senior World Championships. Big Bossman Earl has already kicked off some previews and Seth Petarra will have some pumpkin spice rankings on the way to get you warmed up. So get that last family time in this weekend as the temperature drops in these next few months, the amount of wrestling shall rise. But first some questions.
Who pulls off a better head wrap, Jordan Burroughs or Nico Megaludis? Jkos11
The easy answer is to say Burroughs since his head wrap is synonymous with winning world titles and doing laps with Old Glory. But like you said, Nico liked the tweet so I awarded him the title of best head wrap. Sorry JB, you can't win 'em all.
Where should Christian Carroll end up? Wyoming to be Eagan trained? JL Vice
I think you picked the wrong Cowboys there. Let's face it, Oklahoma State hasn't had the best summer. Bringing in Carroll could be just the jolt that this still very talented team needs to get back on track. Can he do a Cowboy cut job and get down to 197? How about a Cowboy bulk job and anchor the lineup at heavyweight? Either spot fills a huge need for JT Realmuto's uncle.
Lots of hubbub about this Premier League and the clubs that compete in it. For us non-football fans, can you please give us a Senior-level wrestler that could correspond best with each club? UWW Creative
My dear friend Mr. Creative is trying to bust my chops over my complaints about constant soccer talk lately. Look, I'm not a soccer guy. Never will be. Sorry, it's just not my sport and I don't know anything about it or how to compare it to Senior wrestlers.
But I know someone who does.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you my good buddy and rising chess star of the Michigan circuit @Oldestgreatest with a comprehensive list of your favorite association football clubs as wrestlers. Take it away, OG!
Manchester City-David Taylor. Highly successful, nice and smooth, can score in bunches.
Liverpool-Hassan Yazdanicharati. In your face, aggressive style, extremely loud and possibly annoying fanbase.
Chelsea-Deepak Punia. Inexplicably popular. Not that good.
Tottenham-Frank Chamizo. Great on the counterattack, doesn't control the pace the way you'd like, can be inconsistent but high upside.
Arsenal-Jordan Oliver. Very smooth, attacking style, sometimes a mixed bag of results.
Manchester United-Kyle Snyder from 2-3 years ago. Much analysis about why he's fallen off (when he hasn't). Some haters reveling in his losses.
West Ham-Andrew Howe. Meat and potatoes style, always very solid. Never reached the very top internationally, but was up there for a while.
Leicester-Alex Dieringer. Very good, but hasn't quite made a world team/Champions League, has struggled with injuries.
Brighton-Ilyas Bekbulatov. The hipster's favorite for a few years now, but yet to appear on the biggest stage.
Wolverhampton-Nick Gwiazdowski. Like the soccer Wolves, the Wolfpack wrestler has been a solid contender for years
Newcastle-Adam Batirov. Had totally fallen off the radar until suddenly oil money came calling.
Crystal Palace-Hayden Zillmer. Was always hanging around, made a big leap in the last year.
Brentford-Doug Zapf. Not well known, but smart and scrappy.
Aston Villa-Evan Henderson. Been around forever, had recent success working with a new coach.
Southampton-Zane Richards. Good wrestler/team that people tend to forget about, but that I really like.
Everton-Zach Sanders. Been around forever. Has a dedicated fanbase. Occasionally pulls off the big upset.
Leeds-Austin Desanto. Very aggressive style, in a lot of entertaining matches. Widely hated by outsiders.
Fulham-Dan Vallimont. Seemed to be on the bubble of Trials qualification/the Premier League every year.
Bournemouth-Alexandru Chirtoaca. Not quite good enough for the elite, but not as bad as their most humiliating loss might suggest.
Nottingham Forest-Anzor Boltukaev. Went crazy going all in on one year, almost paid off.
Whoa! Oldest and Greatest coming through! Bet you didn't see an Alexandru Chirtoaca reference coming! Also my first guest writer! Also the last soccer talk you'll find here! Thanks for this, OG. I asked and you more than delivered. Is it time to maybe name an heir to the mailbag? Nah, I still got plenty left in the tank!
I'm interested in your opinion on non-wrestling topics. What is the go-to football snack for each game time? Luke Wise
Now, this is the kind of football talk I can get behind.
Call me old-fashioned but there's nothing I love more than ten straight hours of eating and watching football. Depending on where you live, the season can span various stages of weather and that usually affects my snacking. The first few weeks are still basically summer so there's still a lot of fruit and ice cream between grilling. Then in the fall, it's never difficult to find donuts and cider from various pumpkin farms spread across North Jersey. Those are all the rage around here nowadays.
Come November, you're going to want to go with whatever leftover Halloween candy you have or can steal from your kids. Later in the month, there's usually no shortage of pies for Thanksgiving.
Then you get to the Christmas season and it's just cookies mixed in with green and red M&M's until you need an emergency dentist appointment. Of course, if you're currently wrestling, these options may not work out so well for you. Sorry. I did my time cutting weight. You'll get your chance one day to also throw dieting out the window. Until then, keep your hands out of my candy bowl and go burn some calories shoveling snow.
Alright all you Jagoffs and Jaggettes, it's Labor Day Weekend and I work a laborious job so it's time for me to wrap this up and head into the weekend right. Come back next week as I list the criteria for the Jagger Hodge Award and break down the movie The Wrestler. Much like Matt Damon's appearances on Jimmy Kimmel, we simply ran out of time. Many thanks to @Oldestgreatest for the soccer comparisons, thanks to Earl for patiently waiting for me to finish so he can post this, and thanks to Willie for giving me the opportunity to write this column. We're going on a year now and I still can't believe I do this. Jagger out!